Sunday Afternoon

I generally really love the earliest church time.  But these days that makes the afternoon seem really long - especially when I try to avoid tv and sewing of any kind as well as chores.  I spend far too much time on my iPad.  And then the guilt sets in that I'm not actually keeping the Sabbath as holy as I should.

It was nice to see our oldest on Friday - Saturday morning.  She gave me my birthday presents early.  I always like to open things on the actual day, to help me mentally celebrate.  But she was here so I quickly opened and loved everything she gave me.  

Our daughters are extraordinary women.  They have such beautiful souls, giving hearts, generous natures.  Heavenly Father definitely made them wonderful in spite of our parenting flaws.  Our sons are good men also, but mostly it feels like our daughters just shine.

Our last day at the storehouse was fine.  Crazy busy. We worked hard and non-stop and still couldn't catch up.  We were down about six people which always complicates things.  The heartwarming part:  we were greeted with a "We Will Miss You" cake.  I took pictures and maybe I'll post here.  But maybe not, I never want to seem like we're more important than we are.  We just worked with very kind and thoughtful people.  Like our daughters. Several people said they will miss us.  One friend told me (more than once) that if it wasn't for the two of us, she wouldn't have stayed that very first day.  I'm so glad she stayed, she is very dear to me.  Two of the ladies made sure we set up a firm lunch date for next month.  It feels nice that it was important enough that they pulled out their phones / calendars and got it all planned.  

Watched last week's recording of the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square.  Heard this phrase:  listen louder than you sing.  Listen louder. What a mental image that is. Listening louder - than you sing, or talk, or think means you're focusing on something more important than yourself.  I love it! I want to make that a priority of mine - to listen louder, to focus on working with others for a better situation, a better atmosphere, something more unified. And maybe that also means to talk less.  That is something I definitely can work on.

Next Sunday it's not only my turn to play the organ, but I'm on the schedule to play a piano solo.  Are you sure you want piano numbers two weeks in a row?  Are you sure you want this piece even though technically it's an Easter song? Those were my questions that demanded answers from the Ward Music Chair.  He not only answered in the affirmative but was emphatic that this is he wants.  Today's music was a piano duet by a brother - sister team, siblings of the missionary leaving soon. They have had lots of lessons, have played in many piano competitions and are far superior in their training.  They did a wonderful job.  I am very intimidated.  My aim is to bring the Spirit.  I have practiced this song for weeks, hoping to get it down so that when I'm so nervous/jumpy/scared hopefully muscle memory will carry me through.  If the Spirit is there that's all that matters.  

Gratitude today for the bit of rain we had this morning.  Made things humid, but also felt cleaner.  Had a call from the window washers the other day, they are scheduled for Tuesday - the day predicted to have the most thunderstorms.  Maybe a re-schedule?  Rain is nearly always something to be grateful for when you live in a desert.  :^)

Just A Few Things

that I want to remember.

Saturday will be our last day at the Bishop's Storehouse.  It's time. Time to be finished. But there are some people that I will sorely miss.  One of the ladies there says she's determined to do a lunch with our core group every month.  I hope it will happen, though I know the nature of life.  She gifted me this cute little straw topper.  Our daughter has some and every time I see them I think I should buy one for me.  Now I have one that is better than one I could have bought because someone gave it to me. She gave one to The Husband, also, but he rarely uses a straw water bottle.

Monday we went to see our finance guy / friend.  He's very kind and we like him.  But ultimately we have to do what's best for us.  (Aware that this is his profession, how he financially supports himself.) After a somewhat successful (I always need something that they're out of - or has been discontinued) trip to WalMart I was in need of pity-food/drink.  Another rare occurrence for me, we stopped at Maverick and got an icee/slushy.  Cherry.  Yum.  Frankly, though, I felt tons of guilt for buying something so sugar heavy.  Then I consoled myself with the fact that we very rarely do anything like this.  Sometimes I am wearied of having to be so controlled/disciplined/rigid that I can't have a bit of fun without the guilt. 

Tuesday was the dermatologist.  The second Mohs procedure for The Husband.  I like that this dr. only takes the minimum at first.  He had to do a second excision on this one as well, but I'd rather that than take unnecessary amounts of skin the first time.  These stitches are dissolvable so we don't have to go back for three months.  Surgery days feel very long and stressful.  But he did great.  He's also doing his best to remember his back exercises and I know that will be helpful. Feels like incrementally small progress on some of the stuff we have to do, but teensy progress is still progress.  

Yesterday was the stay-at-home-all-day waiting for the guy to come inspect our backflow preventer valve.  Required by not only the city but the state, to keep our water supply safe.  I get the logic.  It's just such a pain (and $$).  Our preventer is old (24 years) and not as up-to-date as the new ones that the city/state wants us to have.  "Upgrading" would be roughly $1500.  Not up for that.  The inspector says he's confident we've got quite a few years left on ours.  Looking back through the paperwork over the last several years, the readings are nearly steady, declining only barely so he's probably right.  We always seem to be in the very late afternoon on his schedule.  The day feels sort of wasted when I'm compelled to be at home.  I never run out of things to do here at home.  Just dislike the "lockdown" feeling of being required to be here.

Ran to Michaels (I so, so, so miss Joann's) for some embroidery floss for these towels I'm working on. (Gifts for a couple friends for birthdays and Christmas.  Probably more heartfelt for the giver than the receiver, but whatever.) Seems like yesterday those skeins were $.25 instead of the $.79 they are now.  Then came home and used my brand new needles.  I took a deep breath before ordering them because of the cost. After using one for only about an hour last night:  it was money well spent.  They are far superior to any needles I've ever had for embroidery.  When (if?) I manage to get back to cross-stitching I'll likely look for that brand.

  

So grateful today for the completed and passed inspection of the backflow preventer.  Grateful that (with no room to spare) we can get our 108" blind into the car to get repaired.  That'll be Monday, along with other things on the docket. Grateful that today won't be as hot and we are now into the last weeks of August.  September's heat generally doesn't feel so bad.

--And here it is, hours later and I'm adding a couple things.  First:  last Saturday at the storehouse, I dropped a case of laundry detergent (6 bottles) and it landed weirdly on my right pinkie finger.  It's been so very sore and swollen.  I'm hoping it heals soon, it's odd - I didn't realize how much I use that finger until it hurts.  Need to be able to play the organ and piano at church.

And last, I learned a hard lesson this last week.  I cannot tolerate Allegra D.  And can tolerate Claritin D only a teeny bit more.  At least in combination with the Z Pack. My emotions have been out of control.  I have been not only unkind but downright mean.  And unable to stop myself.  Anger has been my constant companion - I despise that.  I do NOT want to be that person.  I have hurt the ones I love.  For that I am incredibly sorry.  What an interesting perspective - I didn't have personal experience how medications can have such a dramatic effect on my emotions.  I am grateful tonight for the answered prayer - a thought come into my mind - to know what course to take to not feel that way.  I never want to feel that way again.

Perseids

 The days are shorter.  Our morning walks begin before the sun is up, so: dark.  Yesterday morning we put the garbage cans at the curb and headed off, marveling at how many stars we could see.  And yup - the highlight of my week.  I saw a shooting star!! It lasted a couple seconds so was pretty bright. I loved it!  Came home and was reading the news and came across an article that said yesterday morning was the peak viewing date for the Perseids.  So very happy I got to see one on the best viewing date. 

Been embroidering some towels for friends for Christmas, birthdays, etc.  After some research, decided I needed better needles.  More research.  Settled on a specific kind of needle that is made in Japan.  Went this morning to four different places to find them.  Couldn't. Finally abandoned the quest.  Stopped last minute at Michael's because it was basically on the way home.  Picked up a very inexpensive package of needles.  We'll see how they do.  My quest is for a sharper, smoother needle that will pierce the flour sack towels better so that the stitches will be more even.  Probably impossible.  Likely the more possible explanation is that my stitches are just never going to be machine even.  Handmade doesn't do machine quality.

Just beautiful.

Went to the temple yesterday afternoon.  Sort of last minute.  Glad we went.  The Husband seems to be ok with whatever we decide to do, I try to do things that are engaging for the both of us.  Shopping isn't that. But tomorrow will be Costco, my list is long so it will be expensive. Fortunately, Costco can be somewhat entertaining. But the temple?  I used to kind of chafe at the length, it can be hard to sit still in such a quiet, peaceful place without falling asleep.  The last couple years I've learned to really love being there.  I guess part of me craves that kind of atmosphere.  It's also fun to see all the young people (lots of them missionaries waiting to go to their area of service) doing their part to make the temple a lovely place. 

Eating lunch and heard the doorbell.  There was our across-the-street neighbor and her granddaughter.  Fresh peaches and fresh from their garden tomatoes and peppers.  Our lunch was extended in time and yumminess.  Loved it all.  Food always tastes better when it is a gift. Being thought of is a lovely gift all by itself.

Today I'm grateful for kind people who think to share with us the bounty of their gardening hobby.  And especially, also, for people who encourage me.

I Think...

...that a lot of people are lonely.  Especially old people.

Waiting my turn at WalMarket  the old guy in front of me was telling the barely interested cashier that it was his anniversary, he was buying an anniversary card for his wife.  Married for 65 years.  (Puts him somewhere in his 80's?) He just wanted to be seen.  I get that.

Only a minute or two later, still at the same cashier waiting for her to tell me my total, the old guy behind me moves his cart forward and asks:  either of you two women know how to make an egg roll? The cashier ignores him.  He asks again so I turn and, with a smile,  tell him no, I'm useless.  All I'm thinking is Asian food.

He then says, you start at the top of the hill and laughed pretty hard at his own joke.  (I want to remember this one to tell my friend at the storehouse, we've traded silly jokes like that quite a bit.)

The other day at the grocery, some guy asks me (from among the 5 or 6 people standing there, but most likely because my readers are in my hand and I'm using them a lot) - could I use your eyes to read this label, the print is really small.  I offered him my readers which he refused to put on and still couldn't read the fine print, so I ended up reading off the label for him how many grams of added sugar in the yogurt.

I'm still and always a bit surprised when someone chooses me to talk to.  There's generally other people around but somehow me - the one who feels mostly invisible in life, the one who rarely gets any attention (except when someone wants something from me), the one who is always overlooked - I'm the one they pick to ask an opinion, where something is or any of the other myriad things people talk to me about. Odd, right?

Today I'm so grateful for air conditioning that we can leave on (at a financial cost) at night.  If we had the windows open last night there would have been no sleep at all what with all the bright lights and noise of the partying next door.  Finally at 11:45 I gave myself a stern lecture to ignore the inconsiderate (and scofflaw) behavior, and just "go to sleep already".  It had been pretty impossible for a couple hours.  (And if I'm being truly negative which I despise but I am, who puts a swimming pool and parking lot right next to the neighbors bedroom?) Had to clean up trash dropped at our place again this morning, but at least it wasn't yet again food in the mailbox.  The kids were loud lounging on our yard yesterday afternoon and this morning used our yard as a pathway to retrieve their errant dog.  Like they say:  you can't pick your neighbors. 

And this is supposed to be my positive outlook place.  My safe place from judgement and unkindness - including those things that I am guilty of.  It's only 8:50 a.m. and already I am in sore need of repentance.

Picked up some decongestant at the store, am also using nasal spray trying to get control of this dang sinus infection.  The dizziness is a bit less, as is the headache.  The coughing also has subsided some.  No class for me tomorrow.  Maybe we'll go to the temple instead.