Sunday Thoughts Without Pictures

It's really challenging to put my thoughts here without any pictures to help explain what prompts those thoughts, what reaches my mind and heart.  But today will be one of those picture free times.

Church this morning.  Insta-choir  for the special musical number. Which means a song that is familiar to everyone is sung and all are invited to come to the front and sing together as the ward choir. Today was a patriotic song.  Our ward seems to shrink in the summer with all the travel that people do. So it felt like most of the congregation was up singing together while few of us sat in the pews enjoying the music.  The song ended and all of a sudden a small toddler loudly proclaimed:  "Yay, Daddy, you did it!!"  I personally thought that was the cutest part of the meeting.  

I understand (even though it can be individually challenging) the focus on the youth of the church.  We need them.  Frankly, I think the church needs everyone.  But the last few years has seen stronger emphasis on helping the youth strengthen their testimonies and their commitment while helping them learn skills to help them throughout their lives - responsibilities, working together, caring for others, small leadership roles.  All of those are excellent and I wish that I had had that kind of focus expended on me as I was growing up.  But then again, the world was very different at that time.

Anyway, our Bishop has been encouraging our music leader to involve the youth, and to get some of them not only leading the music but playing the organ as well.  Today we had a sweet little neighbor lead the Sacrament hymn.  It was very sweet.  She clearly had practiced leading the song and did a very fine job.  Even smiled a time or two when she caught her Dad's eye. What a head start these youth are receiving.

Then I finished up listening to the podcast that I like (but don't always manage to complete) listening to.  This week's Come Follow Me became more pertinent to me as I listened to three men discuss these sections of the Doctrine and Covenants, relating personal experiences that strengthened their own dedication to being good disciples of our Savior.  

Repentance is a strong theme throughout the scriptures.  I am grateful for repentance and for today's reminder that our Creator provides the sacrament for us to be able to renew our covenants and continue our repentance process each and every week.  Not a once or twice a year thing, but a weekly focus on doing our best in every way possible to know Jesus Christ and become His. Yes, gratitude for the sacrament.

Eyes, Sigh.

So for a few days I've been having such a problem with one of my eyes.  Scratchy, itchy and felt like something was actually poking my eye.  My thought: Surely there's something in there causing such irritation.  Finally had enough, called my regular eye dr.  Was basically blown off.  "If there's something in there he can't get it out, you'll have to go somewhere else."  Try as I might (what if there's nothing in there and it's something else?) he wasn't very willing to schedule me with the dr.  Thinking that this eye dr. has been in practice for decades, I asked for a referral, the dr. must have a whole network of people he knows and can refer to.  Nope, the guy on the phone said just go to the InstaCare or Hoopes Vision.  Hoopes is where I had my cataract surgery back in 2019 and they're great, just one of those ultra fancy upscale places that intimidate me to even walk in the door.

Frustrated and annoyed (and feeling marginalized as I so often feel these days), I was rude:  told him I felt like I was being brushed off and nevermind, I'll find someone else.

Ended up with Dr. Frandsen at Hoopes.  Verdict:  totally dry eyes. (This really only happens when I'm taking something for the seasonal allergies that plague me so.  I had forgotten about that, there's so much of life that gets in the way that I don't remember the occasional stuff about me that requires maintenance.) He said he actually watched my tears evaporate when I blinked.  So my regular eye dr. could have helped me if only someone would have listened and cared.  

Once again, I received a list of eye drops that I should be using.  Felt somewhat validated to come home and find that the ones that are his favorites are the very ones in my cupboard.  Once or twice a day isn't enough to fix the extreme dryness, so I doubled down and applied them a lot after we got home yesterday and can already tell a difference.  I'm glad about that because I'm not willing - or even able - to spend upwards of $80 per bottle for prescription strength eye drops. 

Then, did something that is so rare for me I can't quite believe that I did it.  I requested - and received - a drink of some kind from a convenience store.  Opted for a frozen Fanta.  Had a hard time deciding between cherry and pineapple-coconut.  Went with the cherry.  I remember from previous experience        not being able to drink a slushie from 7-11 all at once because of the frozen brain headache.  Not so yesterday, my drink was completely gone before we arrived home.  I shared a few sips with The Husband, which I think he loved but was very kind to not take too much.  He would willingly share his Pepsi but I despise cola drinks.  Yes, it was horrible for my body, I really do try to not have much sugar.  But my brain was doing little Yippee!! dances.  

It was a bad day for sugar - or maybe a good one depending on perspective.  The eye dr. office always has a tray with cookies and a printed invitation to have one.  Or two.  The Husband enjoyed two - peanut butter M&M.  Then we each had a free sample of sweetness at Great Harvest bread, they make yummy mint frosted brownies.  Actually, everything we've sampled there has been yummy.  That sugar thing again.  Then I had that frozen Fanta.  And of course I can't complete my day without a few chocolate chips, though the sugar level in those is very low.

I'm already grateful today for improvement in my eyes.  I'm not fond of eye drops. But they're an easy and effective treatment to help me continue with life in a better way.  I'm grateful that even though I seem to be having lots of physical maintenance to do (Dr. Frandsen said it's really a pain in the neck but don't give up it is extremely important) with the daily shoulder/back exercises, keeping my arthritis pain in check, attending to all those areas that are prone to congestion and sneezing, keeping skin moisturized and on and on and on - in spite of all that I am grateful for this body that has served me well over these 73 years. I'm grateful to be able to walk in the mornings and ease  into the daily routine with some absorbing of the world's beauty.  I'm grateful that the daughter's shingles appear to be on the mend, it's a very debilitating virus that she's weathered gracefully. I'm grateful today for the chance to start again to be kinder, more thoughtful, more caring for others.  That's challenging for me lately.

Couple Thoughts

 We were back at the storehouse Saturday after two weeks away.  It felt good.  Though I'm more and more comfortable with being done with that little mission of ours once we hit the three year mark - end of September.  I had thought perhaps ending it in July but feel like we should make it to three years.  People were kind and lovely to me.  Though, as usual, I talked too much.  

Pretty this morning.

Last week's heat was miserable.  Yesterday morning at 6 it was 40-something degrees.  I had to put an extra blanket over me for the last two nights in order to sleep.  This morning at 5 it was 51 degrees.  Felt so lovely to put on a long-sleeved sweatshirt for our morning walk.  It was beautiful out and mostly peaceful.  We enjoy the peace when people around us are out-of-town. 

Heard a couple things that struck me.  First:  "If I'm making cookies (and she makes a lot of them) they're gonna have chocolate chips in them.  Doesn't matter what kind the cookies are, they'll have chocolate chips."  She's such a sweetheart.  The second was a recently returned missionary speaking in church yesterday.  Sounded like he grew a lot on his mission.  Sounded also like he grew a wonderfully solid foundational testimony that will serve him well throughout his life. He said we need to learn to let The Savior lead us in our lives.  Not a new concept, nothing we haven't heard before; but the way he said those words (more than once) and the emotion that came through them touched my heart.  I believe he's going to do just fine.

I've been thinking a lot about integrity.  Not only the integrity one hears through someone's words, but the way they lead their lives.  I love knowing people who don't just go through the motions, "go along to get along", follow the latest trends or pretend to be dedicated (that hypocritical thing) but who truly do their best in their daily actions to show their commitment to our Savior and His teachings.  Who not only speak, but dress, act and treat others with kindness, respect and reverence for the sacrifice that was made for every living soul.   I want to see them in the here-after, to be included among those who honored their covenants (didn't ever find them inconvenient) no matter where I was or who I was with.  That's a tall order and one that will take me my entire life (and probably beyond) to achieve.

The Husband is out working on the sprinklers, spot-watering the yellow spots in our lawn.  My efforts to be frugal with our outrageously expensive water has not been a good thing. The heat this last week wasn't helpful either.  But I'm loving this coolness today - already looking forward to fall and the summer has barely begun.

I'm grateful for a kind person who greeted me with a big hug as she declared "it's been so long since I've seen you".  Grateful my three weeks in a row on the organ are done for a couple weeks.  The practicing was good for me but my wrist is suffering. I'm grateful that there are dr.'s to help when things aren't going so well.  And grateful for a hug today.

It's Been Quite A Week or So

Manti Temple

Last Saturday we drove to Manti for our granddaughter and her fiance to receive their endowments.  4 hour roundtrip drive (lots of waiting) as well as a meal made for a long (though nice) day.  Too hot for early June. 

The Husband's CPAP machine is finally here at home.  Last night we discovered that it hadn't been registered properly so he didn't get credit for the first two nights.  (It's a rent-to own if you meet their stringent requirements.  It'll be an interesting year.) Last night he did pretty well, though he doesn't remember when he took it off, it has to be used a minimum of 4 hours per night.  Learning curve for sure.

The granddaughter's wedding was nice.  We were glad to have our daughter and son-in-law with us.  My stress level this week has been off-the-charts, and it has affected The Husband as well.  He's been a bit out of sorts.  Again - we are in steep learning curves for so much of life.  But, the hubbub is over for now, we won't see any of that family again for quite some time;  maybe I'll calm down a bit. The flowers are always lovely at the temples but I particularly loved these dahlias.

So far this morning I've   a) been for a walk - saw the cute deer that was across the street from me    b) done two loads of sheets - washed, dried, folded and closeted    c) put clean sheets on our bed   d)  the second load of towels is in the dryer    e)  cleaned three bathrooms   f) drawn up the weekly schedule for posting on the fridge   g) vacuumed the entire house (except the basement)   h) gone through 72 emails from the last couple days - and the clock is just now striking noon.  I've only practicing the hymns for tomorrow, figuring out food for dinner and some deep breathing left to do.

I should be - and truly am - grateful for food, and plenty of it, to have.  It's just that I've been figuring out what to fix for meals for over half a decade and I'm weary.

I'm so grateful today that we were actually invited to the endowments and the wedding.  I'm so grateful for ibuprofen (still have that wicked headache), grateful for units that cool the air in our house, for appliances to help with the chores and for a couple books to read if/when I get a minute.  Grateful for medication that hopefully will help lessen the issues that accompany the shingles that are currently afflicting our daughter. More than anything though, I'm grateful for repentance - though I wish I didn't need to use it so, so, so often - and the hope for forgiveness for all that I've managed to muck up.  I worry that Heavenly Father will give up and me and find me beyond redemption.