I Love Spring

I've always been a spring season fan. I love that it can be snowing/cold in the morning and then sunny and warm-ish in the afternoon.  I love the flowers that poke through the snow and thrive in the rain.  I love the blooms on the trees.  Everywhere I go I stop and examine the buds on the tree branches to see the growth - I love the proof that winter has only given the growing things a little nap and rest and they are ready to display their beauty again.  I took these pictures on our Sunday Stroll yesterday.  The one was looking at a bush hanging over the fence far above my head and I'm inexperienced enough at photography to not realize the cloudy sky was dimming the picture too much.  Don't care, putting it on here anyway.  The bush / tree was so pretty.

We took some time to run over to Herriman to see our son.  We don't see them often, their lives are busy and we feel more of a nuisance than a reason. But he had texted us to tell us he'd had a mishap and had been to the E.R.  His scalp laceration is glued shut (he didn't want to go back for staple removal), a couple of his ribs are broken at the spine and one is broken in the front and he's bruised.  I was more than glad we'd taken the time, I needed to see for myself that he was going to be ok.  Once a mom....

Fifth Sunday meetings at church mean all the adults meet together.  We had a guest speaker - Mike Schlappi.  Apparently a lot of people in the room knew him and his story (accidentally shot by his friend at 14 years old, paraplegic ever since and done well with his life- Olympic medalist, etc.).  He is an inspiring speaker, has a cute sense of humor and has dealt with his trauma in a way I'm certain pleases our Heavenly Father.  It hasn't been easy.  He said a number of things that I took notes for.  Wanted to put a couple things down here so I remember them.  Probably nothing really extraordinary - one of those things that has impact in the moment but sometimes is harder to carry over through life.

• About change, he said if we resist change, we fail.  If we accept change we manage.  If we create change we succeed.  That's an interesting perspective, especially for those of us who don't really thrive on change.  One thing he mentioned (that, interestingly enough, I had already read several times this week) is that sometimes working harder isn't the answer.  Harder and harder isn't always effective.  Try doing the thing differently for success.  

• He said that an average person has 11 negative thoughts for every 1 positive thoughts.  Wow, no wonder it's so hard to be positive.

• Pain can (if we are intentional) lead to change which can lead to knowledge (learning) which can lead to growth.  My thought:  that growth is what our Heavenly Father hopes for each of us, as we travel our own specific path.

• The world is made up of takers and givers.  Takers eat well (meaning they enjoy the material things of life) givers sleep well (meaning they feel greater fulfillment, peace and more deep enjoyment of life).  I have actually heard that one before also.  It's a common saying.

• His attitude (when his Olympic team lost the gold medal - one member tested positive for drugs) is not that they lost the gold but that they won the bronze.  Good perspective.

Anyway, it was a good reason to have stayed for the second hour of church. 

When did it become a thing for teens to play on house rooftops (at night in the dark)?  And is that ok?  I'm concerned when there's a dozen or more teens playing in the road (it's dark outside) and there's a friend's car that goes speeding down the road - over and over - super fast.  Can't see the kids in the road, going (super speeding IMO) w-a-y too fast down a narrow residential street:  someone is going to get hurt.  😟

Today I'm grateful for hope that I can improve.  For another chance to be kind.  For seeing deer on our morning walks.  I'm grateful for good books to read (currently reading Jefferson Fisher's new book "The Next Conversation"  and so far it's great!) and stuff to do - like sort through, clean out and get rid of unnecessary stuff.  I guess I'm just grateful for a new day.

Post Funeral

 It was a nice funeral.  People are so interesting.  The stories of their lives make you wish you'd known them.  

I did ok on the organ.  It was an unusual-to-me kind of organ.  And unlike my dream of all the settings buttons being blank - these were all labeled. 😁

Heard this quote that I had to come home and look up. 

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

I believe I am surrounded by those people that are becoming beautiful.

Dream

Had a dream last night.  It ratcheted up my nervousness and worry about tomorrow's funeral.

My friend was asked to sing at a relative's funeral.  I was invited to accompany him.  As time went on, my role increased to include all the organ playing at the funeral.  It's fine, really, happy to help.  It's often better for me if the funeral is for someone I don't know.  Funerals - no matter whose - are still hard for me.  (A friend said the other day that when you do stuff that is hard for you but you do it anyway then you get extra brownie points.  What a lovely thought.)

So the dream:  the chapel was dark,  the regular organist was upset because she wasn't asked to play and I was so she left the organ all covered with dark unidentifiable crud.  She refused to tell me how it worked (none of the setting buttons were labeled).  The piano was across the chapel in a strange spot and closed, so difficult to access.  And on and on.  Unsettling.

Every piano is different - even amongst the same brands.  Not all churches have the same organs.  So I'm already nervous about walking in to the church tomorrow - to play prelude, hymns, postlude and accompany a singer on the piano - essentially blind as to the set up.  I've practiced and practiced, hoping my preparation will balance out the ever-present nerves I'm plagued with.  Fingers crossed, prayers said.

Spring!

We have a couple great daughters.  They are kind, true, brave and generous.  One has a birthday in a couple weeks.  I have felt some anxiety trying to figure out a gift for her. Without success.  Gift cards seem so impersonal.  (Though I love to have them.)  I try to not give cash after finding out all the cash we birthday-gifted a loved one ended up going to bills.  I'm fully aware that once a gift is given what the recipient does with it is totally up to them.  But somehow it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to see that my gift intended for some little luxury just for them ended up going to bills.  So cash isn't my go to any more. I wish I was creative and clever and could come up with just the right thing.😒

Saturday's storehouse shift was short.  I over-reacted.  Decided I wasn't fit to be there, was definitely not bringing the Spirit (as the sweet opening prayer requested for us all).  Honestly, it was kind of fun to be free those extra hours.  Felt like a kid unexpectedly let out of school early.  Fingers and toes crossed that this Saturday will be better. Lots of texts have been exchanged and I want to think there'll be peace.

Sunday afternoon the weather was lovely enough that we went for our Sunday stroll. We saw lots and lots of daffodils blooming.  Most of the crocus seem to be done.  I love Spring!! 

Monday we drove down to Utah County to pick up our tax stuff and pay the preparer.  What a relief to not have to pay any again this year.  Tuesday we went to an afternoon movie and then dinner with our friends.  Such fun to be with them, though I suspect we won't be doing it often.  We're old and not quite as with it.  Yesterday was class at the rec center.  I don't mind missing the class on Monday and Friday but I absolutely love getting to the Wednesday class with my favorite teacher.  Today is lunch with a couple friends (ministering), tomorrow is the funeral, Saturday the storehouse and our week is finished.

I'm so grateful for things to do that keep us busy and somewhat involved.  I know our world is very small compared to lots of other people.  But we do what we can and look for more opportunities. I'm grateful for spring flowers.  I'm grateful for refillable popcorn buckets, The Husband surely enjoyed not only the eating, but the sharing.  I'm grateful for some sunshine.  I'm grateful for finally figuring out the dang thermostats.  (Lesson learned:  don't trust the installer to know how they work, because the installer doesn't, and didn't give the best advice. But I'm finally on top of it.) I'm grateful today most especially for prayer and the hope for Heavenly help as I navigate the little (that feel big) trials that I encounter every day.  

Weekend

So, it was an interesting weekend.  Things at the Bishop's Storehouse change all the time.  There's currently a surfeit of senior missionaries there on Saturday mornings.  I dislike not having things to do.  I also dislike (more like resent and rebel) when I'm told what to do & constantly "taught" about how to do things properly (their way).  I tend to be surrounded by bossy and controlling people.  Must be a lesson in there that I'm supposed to be learning and am failing at.

Treated ourselves to late lunch at Olive Garden.  I will never tire of their soup/salad combo.  The Husband went for their lasagne though he felt like it was expensive.  I figure he got two full meals out of that so it wasn't really that expensive.

Came home and discovered that one of the bulbs in the bathroom/shower had burned out.  That bulb was original to the house, installed with all the other bulbs by the builder just before we moved in.  24 years ago.  We have more than a few of those original bulbs.  I was nervous about having the extension ladder brought in to replace it, those ceilings are high - probably around 12 foot. And the shower wall/door is glass, the floor slanted so the water drains.  The Husband:  my hero.  I have been grateful our entire marriage for his abilities and how he has always taken such good care of us.   The thought, though, was astonishment that we still have lightbulbs in our house that are working fine after 24 years.  Knock on wood.

Wanted to walk Sunday afternoon, it was sunny out and warm-ish.  But the wind was too fierce.  Stayed windy all day yesterday.  This morning we woke to this view.  That was hours ago and the snow is still hiding those hills. A good stay-in day.

Wish I had a picture from our morning walk yesterday.  We watch a squirrel descend a tree, climb the next one, scamper out on a long (swaying in the wind) branch, to hop over to the swaying branch on a tree across the trail and then scamper down again.  I couldn't help but wonder if it was more fun to cross the trail by jumping across in the trees than just rushing across the trail on the ground.  It was so cute.   I loved hearing the birds.  I can hear them better than The Husband.  Over by the library I'm convinced there are a couple of red-winged blackbirds, their call is so distinctive.  Haven't managed to see them, but I've heard them.

And I'm practicing to accompany Robert in a funeral sometime this week.  They know their loved one is passing, so they are doing as much pre-prep as possible.  Robert will sing a song he has also been asked to sing in our Sacrament meeting on Easter Sunday.  It's been tricky practicing because the music he gave me had no words included.  I count on them to keep in sync with the singer.  I've written them in as best I can, but am pretty sure it's not quite accurate.  I'll keep practicing and hope that I know the notes well enough that following the singer will be possible.  My goal is always to focus on the singer, the music and the Spirit it brings.  

Today I'm so grateful for plumbers that can come out pretty quick and fix a leaking broken valve.  The first plumber we called could get us in on Friday.  Really, four days away? ( Four days is a very long time to be without water in the house.)  Called the next one and was so very pleased; they came out, assessed and estimated time and cost and got busy with the repair. Made it all look easy.  And my tears of frustration and concern were absolutely unwarranted.  Too much going on all at once and I was too easily overwhelmed.  I'm so grateful for repentance and hope that my forgiveness (from The Husband as well as heaven) will be complete.  I'm grateful that Amazon makes returns so easy.  I had such high hopes, I don't often get new things to wear and was hoping these would work.  But no, back they went.  Instead, I've ordered a new little hand-vac to replace our apparently faulty one.  Would rather have a new blouse.  But truly, I already have plenty. 

I'm grateful for the ability to stay at home in the daunting weather, with good furnaces, a good roof, food in the cupboards and determination to be a better human being today.  I won't give up.  Even though any progress seems small and temporary.  I'll keep trying.