Too Much Thinking

But how do you stop?  It's a good thing to ponder, sort through, refine and enjoy your thought processes.  I just wish it wouldn't keep me up at night.  I teach Relief Society this coming Sunday so I've been in a constant state of thought and prayer about what, how and how much to include.  It seems like everywhere I turn, everything I read - I think that would be good to include in the lesson (I only have about 45 minutes!).  And my prayers are constant that I'll have the Spirit with me to know the best answer to those mental questions.  Then I think I might have a "bye" in June with Ward Conference.  June will be a good month to have a bit of a break with the eye surgeries I've got scheduled.

Last week: Flowers!!!

Today:  flowers falling apart.

I'm still loving the spring flowers.  The iris especially have been lovely.  I know they're sort of an old-fashioned flower, you don't see them too much around here.  But the ones I've seen have caught my eye, I love their ruffles.  Our hawthorne tree has been especially lovely this year.  While one of our tricolor beeches is truly struggling (I've been mourning as I've watched its fight) the hawthorne is just striking.  Until the other day.  We've had so so so much rain.  And a fair amount of wind.  The driveway is just littered with the tiny petals.  The Daughter remarked just today that walking through the shower of petals was kind of fun.  But....once they fall, they're really gone.  I wanted the blossoms to last w-a-y longer.

Love the iris.

I managed to get to yoga twice this week.  Today's class: a tad hard.  But truthfully, I am learning to enjoy it.  And I definitely miss it when I can't go.  Again - June will be different (and in this case harder) because I'll be missing most of the classes.  That means when I am able to get back to it, it'll be even harder because I'll be so out-of-practice.  

I'm not wishing my life away, but I will be glad when the eye surgeries are all done, I'm all recovered and something else will be causing me anxiety.  :^)

I'm apparently allergic to the prescription eye drops. Or some preservative in them.  I have had bumps and red spots all around my eyes that are taking time to heal.  I've gone full-blown rebel and refused to use the drops anymore until I can get these issues all healed.  I hope I don't lose my sight in the meantime.  Three weeks and counting.

And some things I know:

• No matter where I go, it seems, people talk to me.  I'm usually minding my own business, often trying to be unobtrusive, or even have my "hug block" going.  Still, people talk to me.  Had that happen a lot this week.

• It's cheaper, but w-a-y less fun, to go to Costco without The Husband.

• I want to always be able to walk.  Those morning walks have become an essential ingredient to my day.  Makes life sweeter.

• I'm grateful for prayer.  It calms my soul.

• I'll never tire of being able to read.  It feeds my soul.

• I love-love-love having The Husband available to me for whatever, whenever.  We've been together most of our waking hours since mid-September last year and it still feels fresh.  I wish everyone could have this kind of relationship in their life.

I'm working hard at "being a duck" - not letting people's attitudes get to me (let it roll off my back). I'm always just so amazed at people's propensity to direct the actions / thoughts / behaviors of others. As though those other people could never arrive at success in life with their input and management. Just because we have thoughts doesn't mean it is always helpful, or even wise to voice them.  And yes, I'm being critical (the very thing I fight).  I'm hoping it's not hypocritical at the same time.  I really do try to not control or direct others.  I'm a big fan of agency and choice.  We are all learning and hopefully progressing.

Today I'm grateful for people who easily smile.  And for those who are ready to hug!