I Am Not A Nice Person

 So, last night we headed off for our "Christmas present" to ourselves:  tickets to see Andrea Boccelli at the Vivint Arena.  The concert:  extra fabulous!  Would spend the money and go do it again.  I think perhaps The Husband enjoyed it a tiny bit less than I did, but it was still a very fun concert for both of us.

20 minutes before showtime

Vivint Arena isn't my favorite venue.  They are super strict about what you can bring in.  (Mostly it's about what you can't bring in.) The concert was pretty much sold out, only a very few seats were empty. That means you've got somewhere between 15 and 20 thousand people all converging there at the same time.  Because you have to go through a metal detector, bags aren't allowed and the ones that are (medical, diaper, etc.) allowed are all x-rayed. Not a good feeling for me.  Sure, I know all the reasons.  I still don't really like how it makes me feel.  

So there we are, many, many people being funneled through just a very few detectors and then into fewer ticket scanners - it's a lengthy process (took us roughly half an hour! yikes).  Most people are decent.  But there are those few....I was shuffling along right in front of a very loudmouthed woman who was quite vocal about her disgust of people and what they were't doing that she thought they should be doing.  I guess she thought if she said it loud enough and often enough that other people (and really, they were people that probably were too far ahead to even be aware of her) would just toe the line and do what she said.  One of those who don't understand the concept of agency, or individual thought.  Not everyone thinks the same.  I carefully kept my peace.  But I wasn't thinking kind thoughts.  

And I will say again for the umpteenth time:  I don't like crowds.  

We left home two full hours ahead of time, managed to snarf down some Chick-Fil-A at City Creek Center (why is the food there more expensive than out in Draper?) food court, but it's a good thing we didn't dawdle.

I thoroughly enjoyed the walk back to our parking after.  Two blocks isn't all that far, the weather was nice and the closer we got to the car the fewer people were around us (yay!).  Best of all, parking was only $6, cheaper by far than any other parking downtown.  Sometimes we do make good decisions.

This morning we had an appointment for the Charger to get its windshield replaced.  We've postponed it long enough.  After confirming the appointment multiple times we headed over there. Walking in the house after dropping off the car The Husband's phone call revealed that they don't have the glass to replace.  They say it was ordered.  But somehow never arrived.  Now, please tell me:  how do you run a business without making sure things are in order all the way along the line?  How do you confirm the appointment (even the morning of) without making sure you have the supplies you need to complete the job?  When I went in with The Husband to get the keys the guy said that sadly this wasn't the first car today to have that happen, nor the only one in the last few days.  Hello?  Doesn't that signal some problems that should be addressed?  Again, I kept my mouth shut and said nary a word.  But I wasn't thinking kind thoughts.  And The Husband, poor guy, heard the unkind things I didn't say out loud to the employee.  That makes me sad.

I have trust issues.  Somewhere along the line I started guarding myself against hurt wherever I could.  I try to have few expectations.  But I'm still often upset and then I find myself building a wall against people who couldn't really care less about me or my feelings. Stupid of me.  I know. 

I am getting better at calming down quicker, trying harder to not be so negative in response to other's thoughtlessness/selfishness/unkindness/younameit. Still have a long ways to go.

On the bright side, the hawthorne tree outside is almost in full bloom.  I could almost believe there are more blossoms than leaves, it's so very pretty.  We saw a fox (yes, truly a fox, over by the high school) the other day on the trail and nearly every morning have seen deer.  The neighbors down the street are putting in a pool (apparently that's the new thing everyone is required to do) and the good thing is they are three houses down so our summer won't be quite as impacted by all the noise/mess/trouble as it was last summer when it was going on next door.  (We're hoping the next door project will be completed sooner rather than later.) And I'm trying to find something good in today.  Still looking but have confidence I'll find it before the day is done.

And before I forget, saw this article this morning, thought it had a few good points.How To Be Happier?

Grateful for a kind, forgiving Husband.  I worry that he'll run out of forgiveness for me.  He surely does do it a lot.