Tough Times

We actually went to a movie yesterday afternoon. Bought our tickets online, reserved our seats on the very top row, no one was within four rows of us and no one was even going to walk near us so it felt a bit safe. The movie was stupid. But fun to be out there. Though sad. The theater was so shut down. They had one employee at one concession stand selling food/treats as well as tickets. They didn't even have anyone to take our tickets. The whole place (and it's a multi-plex with like 20 theaters) was dark, devoid of people, and pretty depressing. I just shudder to think what's happening to our country. My fear is what's going to happen after the election. I can hardly stand to look at FaceBook anymore because of the pointed, unkindnesses that people post on there. Some of the comments seem almost like the posters are daring someone to disagree with them. And often they call themselves Christians. How is being hateful with your words following Jesus Christ? And speaking of Christians: church can be hard. I often feel so judged and "less than" (inferior). Even when it comes to face masks. Mine are usually homemade. My sewing skills are mediocre at best. I like my homemade ones because I can customize the fit to be closer (translates into better). I pretty much never feel like I belong at church. Then I remind myself that I go to church for me. Not for someone else. Not to hear bragging or pontificating, or parading one's goodness. I go to worship God and to renew my baptismal covenants and to re-ignite my desire to be close to Heavenly Father and be a disciple of His Son. I figure I'll be reminding myself of the real reason I keep going more and more. This morning there was a storm. Our leafy trees have been covered with snow. We so need the moisture. I'm always nervous through the entire winter season - about icy slick streets and loved ones who drive on them. And the cold that sometimes freezes a vulnerable (though it isn't supposed to be) pipe. Causing me anxiety about all the costs to repair such a thing should it burst. Gratitude still fills my heart for a house that is snug and warm and safe and comforting. For a couple people that call me their friend and let me know they care. (Last Sunday we discovered a treat at our door from a friend - though I really wish they'd ring the bell so we could chat.) And grateful for The Husband's prompt forgiveness when I'm the one that's testy and edgy and grumpy. Also grateful for a couple thank you cards that arrived in the mail. That really warmed my heart.