And Another Week Begins

 Sundays are always a good break from the world.  Church yesterday was pretty decent though I ended up in tears.  It was a bit of an unusual Testimony meeting for our ward.  But I held it together pretty well until immediately after the meeting.  People should just not be kind to me and then I can manage those too-ready tears that I have.  I have learned some control over the years but sometimes I just kind of lose it.

Pretty gift for me.

Many months ago I was sitting during Sunday School next to a friend - it was cold in the room as churches and restaurants often are and I said something about how cold I was.  She immediately spread her shawl from across her shoulder to include me - we were both more comfortable.  I mentioned the other day in conversation that I'd been thinking of her - had been on the hunt for a shawl like hers but hadn't yet found one I felt like I could afford that I also really liked.  (Yup, I'm too particular.)  It was just a tossed off comment - merely wanted to indicate her thoughtfulness was remembered.  As soon as Sacrament meeting was over yesterday, she rushed over, draped a shawl around my shoulders and disappeared.  Finding her to thank her she said she wanted to give me a shawl, she has lots and lots and she's only used this one a few times so she thought she would share. Hoped the blue would go with colors I wear.  That was the final straw - I was completely undone:  abundant tears.  I almost always feel invisible - this was clear proof I am not completely so.  

The meeting had ended with a sister in our ward who had struggled to get pregnant, then two months into her pregnancy had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  It was hard for her to describe the challenges and difficulties as she stood there to show us her tiny (roughly four pounds when born via emergency c-section) little miracle.  And spoke about how everyone has rallied around the family and helped in innumerable ways.  Anyone with even a speck of empathy was in tears. Hard to sing the closing hymn.

I know there are many people in our ward who also have challenges and really tough things to face that perhaps aren't so obvious or well-known.  Who manage it all on their own. Who don't receive that huge outpouring of help, support and love. My heart goes out to them all.

So, this shawl will have a permanent spot in my church-going gear.  I was so touched by her kindness.

These are the only roses I've cut this year so far.  I remember past years where the roses were barely blooming and I had a hard time finding one for The Husband's suit buttonhole for Father's Day.  (That's so very passé now but I really liked doing it for him.)  But this year, the roses are beautifully blooming everywhere and have been for a month already.  Don't know how many more we'll get this year, I pruned the bushes back so far I wasn't sure they'd survive.  But I'm loving smelling these every time I go past them.

We have noticed a huge uptick in the amount of squirrels we see.  This little one was right next to me on the trail, flicking its tail as it rushed around and up the tree, felt lucky to manage to get his picture.  I wasn't quite so happy to see one - again - stealing the bird food from the feeder.  I thought this particular feeder style was squirrel resistant.  I want to just shrug and let the squirrels eat, too.  But somehow I feel protective of the birds.  

Today I'm grateful for Fast Sundays - I relish the opportunity to fast and pray about things of concern to me. I'm grateful for the sacrament and the renewal of those covenants.  Was reminded the other day that the priesthood ordinance is valid and important regardless of who is administering, passing it.  That is something I need to remember about all of the priesthood ordinances - that particular power surpasses our human weaknesses. 

I'm grateful for a moderation of the temps, it was lovely to sleep with the windows open and feel the coolness of the night.  I'm also grateful for people who are kind, I often think I need to be a better purveyor of the kindness that the world so needs.  I'll keep working on that.