Life

Was asked the other day what my ideal life would be like.  Hmmm...thinking.  Seriously thinking. Finally answered that there wasn't much to improve on.  I am married to my bestest friend. The material goods are sufficient (with a little extra).  We try to take care of our health so it will last.  A life of total ease wouldn't be good - no stretching or growing (and yes, that's an essential thing despite the pain - it allows me to learn and notice the difference, to be aware, to be grateful for the important things).

And then, I wondered if I'd made a fatal error:  voicing my contentment thus tempting the Fates.  Let me be clear.  I am not asking for trials.  I am not begging for difficulties.  I just try to find the best in life and hope I am up to the inevitable challenges.

That said, my heart still has longings, things I wish for and things I wish were different.  I imagine I'm not so different from others in that regard.  I guess I'm in sort of a contemplative mood.  Must be the weather. (Makes me long for an overactive metabolism so I can indulge my longing for brownies or something chocolate.) A good reminder to think once again how full of gratitude my heart is.

Used to be trees, now they look like stumps.  Hmmm...

Managed to hit the trail this morning before the rain.  Noticed the willows are now a definite shade of green as the leaves have unfolded.  How lovely they are.  Then....I saw the Nashi trees.  Each fall we eagerly anticipate the Nashi pear harvest.  We even pay a premium (a neighbor of ours owns the trees) to acquire some of the delectable fruit.  I tend to monitor the progress of these trees along the trail.  I was stunned to stillness this morning as I spotted the trees (just the other day they were full grown trees!) and then slumped as I realized there probably won't be Nashi pears this year.  Sadness.

Met with our tax preparer/friend.  Came away a bit dismayed.  Our expected return was whittled away after he dug into the paperwork and finalized our return.  We had thought to spend the unexpected money on a trip to the beach.  I could see my beach trip sprouting wings and disappearing into the ether.  And here I am, whining about my blessings again.  Whining about having enough money in the first place. Will I ever learn?

We still hear the beach calling.  Perhaps.