My family was pretty poor growing up. My parents did the best they could, though looking back on our childhood, I think they could have used some help in figuring out how to manage money. In any event, DIY was the way of our lives.
Mom had a bit of an artistic talent. Every year she would design/draw the Christmas cards. Neighbors didn't really exchange any gifts in our area/time. But she did want to acknowledge others at Christmas. So she had this kind of wax box - I wish I knew what it was called. Just a shallow box that had some kind of wax in it that she would use to transfer the picture to papers, one at a time. Then us kids would color the design with colored pencils and they would deliver most of the cards, some were mailed, but not many. Stamps cost money.
Anyway, I grew up with Christmas cards that were very personal. I never made my own, my artistic capabilities don't actually exist. But I've always like to send Christmas cards, to wish those we know, and love associating with, a wonderful Christmas time. I took great care to always include a handwritten line or two above our signed names. (This year I didn't buy a single Christmas card to send.)
And now a Christmas card just doesn't seem like a Christmas card. We've received a dozen or so, either with a very small gift or through the mail. Only one was actually signed by a person. All the others were "a year in pictures" printed with nothing personal, only some computer generated text (that often as not is a form of bragging which I so detest). I can't help but wonder why bother? Most of the people you know well enough to send a card to already have been privy to all your grand trips/school awards/excellence in career. Yeah, I sound like the crotchety (and somewhat judgemental in spite of my efforts NOT to judge) old woman that I am. But I do miss the personal connection, if only in the recognizing of the handwriting. Can't even do that from the envelope, it too was computer printed.
(On a side note - I know someone who spends the entire year documenting every aspect of their lives on FaceBook, which she then prints out as their "family history". Admirable effort. I had to opt out of her notices on FB because I just couldn't take the arrogant bragging. I often think the world needs more humility.)
So yes, the old days might be gone and mostly forgotten. But seriously, there are definitely some positives in the way things were done.
As I proofread this I realize how negative this sounds and I don't really want that. Every morning I wake up determined to go 24 hours without negativity. (Today I totally failed by 9 a.m.) I guess I am a bit discouraged. The holidays are generally a very difficult time for me. I'm getting better a lowering my expectations and hopes. But it still sometimes gets to me. Maybe I'll re-read this later on today if I get a minute and delete the whole thing.
I appreciated this article: Christmas Your Way I don't know why I ever thought I needed permission to do things our own way. We live in an area of affluence (nope, we don't belong) and super tight family relationships. It's hard when everyone has all these entrenched traditions and I keep getting questions about what we're going to do and being met with astonishment that what we do is so low-key, different from theirs. I always feel judged and lacking and of course, my usual: inferior. I liked that this was written by a psychologist.
And still thinking about the sweet sister that I helped at the storehouse on Saturday. She talked about how good the potato pearls (instant potatoes) are. I said that's what everyone tells me but I haven't tried them and they aren't available to buy. After a bit of back and forth conversation, she pulls out a bag and hands it to me and says here, this is for you. At that moment it was truly hard for me to restrain my emotions. There I was helping someone with food that they needed and her immediate thought was to share with someone she doesn't even know. I wish I could be that caliber of character. I wanted to give her a hug.
Trying today to find gratitude. I guess I'm grateful to know and be aware of why Christmas is important. Instead of it only being about "things", gifts and being better than someone else. I hope to remember that knowledge every day. And find ways to be closer to our Savior.
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