All Over The Place

Chatted with The Husband before getting out of bed.  I mentioned that sometimes I know even before I open my eyes that it's going to be a tough day.  Said this morning that I just wanted to skip today and not do it. Sigh.

I'm slow to learn things, apparently.  Slow to learn to not speak when I need to not speak.  Slow to learn that I need to take a deep breath before speaking.  Slow to learn that not every thought needs to be spoken and slow to learn that just because someone thinks differently doesn't mean they are wrong.  I still have so  much to learn in this life.  Those thoughts were cause for self-frustration and discouragement.  My emotions are all over the place today.

A week or so ago I asked our friend if he thought his lawn mowers would be interested in taking on another yard - ours.  He not only asked them, he brought them over to take a look and give us an estimate.  I was so thrilled the cost was reasonable (and more importantly - affordable for us personally).  Left it up to The Husband to choose but in my head/heart I was rooting for the decision to hire the guys.  The Husband pondered for a bit but then decided to hire them (Yippee!!). Their first time mowing was supposed to be Friday.  Saturday if it rained Friday.  It not only rained Friday (ruining our (free) car wash) but it rained Saturday as well.  After a bit of texting, they showed up today.  And in just a bit over an hour had the lawn mowed, trimmed and blown off.  They even used their blower on the street where there was grass.  My spirits lightened and my shoulders felt a burden lifted.  The lawn was done in lickety-split time, and done well and I wasn't fretting over The Husband while he did it. 

Aahh, just heavenly.

I love lilacs.  We had a lilac bush for years but after too many seasons without blooms The Husband had it taken out.  Every spring (usually closer to Mother's Day it seems) I have to stop the car at every bush I see, or veer across the street when walking, to stick my nose in the flowers and just breathe in their scent - again and again and even again. This morning I plucked this stem from a bush overhanging the sidewalk and carried it with me on our walk.  It has such a lovely fragrance.  I even changed the wallpaper on my phone's unlock screen to a lilac stem.  What a gift flowers are from our Heavenly Father.  He knew when creating this world that our souls need beauty as much as our physical bodies need sustenance.

The Husband asked if I had a couple minutes to help him in the garage.  Tomorrow's garbage day and he's been noticing all the junk we have laying around.  Could we toss at least a bit of it so it'll be picked up tomorrow, please?  Took us only a few minutes to have the second garbage bin heavy enough that we dare not put anything more in it.  There again:  looking at a couple empty (or at least emptier) shelves lightens my shoulders.  I wish I could purge things more.  I guess it'll be baby steps.  And I'll be grateful for every bit that leaves this house.

I've been stressed about this week.  Thursday will be a tough day.  We've an event that I'm not sure I'm welcome at but will have to go anyway.  That is always cause for deep anxiety in me, when I don't feel welcome; the words  "i love you" are said but the actions are not generally in sync with the words.  After that event is the annual requisite mammogram (I detest them!) and then Hale that night.  It'll be a full day. 

The ironing is done, the watering pipes are laid in the grow boxes, some carrot and pea seeds are planted, the hollyhocks have been sprayed (hoping for their demise) again, the yard work is done, The Husband is off strolling down the street with our neighbor who needs to move but isn't really in good enough shape to walk a bit by himself.  (His problem - or at least one of them -  is that his blood pressure is chronically too low.  That causes all kinds of issues.)  And life feels momentarily better. 

So, I'm grateful that even though my emotions are all over the place - at least right now,  I'm feeling more calm. So very grateful that it appears our yard will be taken care of just fine this season and that we can afford to have it done.  So grateful for things that get accomplished even if it is only a bit at a time.  Grateful for the sunshine and especially today for some flowers.