Temperament

Wild grapes along a fence.

Lots of people are blessed with a sunny disposition.  They are chipper and happy just to be them.  I didn't come that way.  I am by nature more on the pessimistic side.  I worry and fuss and rarely wake up smiling.  I have to work at that cheerful thing.  I so wish it was different.  (I often hear that the older you get those natural personality tendencies are magnified. Lucky for those cheerful kind people, they'll just get more so, and I'll be one of those nasty old women that people avoid.  Sigh...)

It's not that I'm unhappy.  I'm just more content, maybe happy on the inside.  I often look at other people and how unapologetically exuberant they are, no filters in their loud expressions of joy.  Nope, can't do that.  Too much restraint in my DNA.   It'd be nice to be that way.  But, sadly, that's not me and I doubt that any amount of behavior modification would change it.  

Anyway, this last week has been interesting.  We've had rain (YAY!!)  (And that's about as exuberant as I get...) I keep asking The Husband if he can hear the trees sighing in gratitude for the moisture.  Early morning rain (accompanied by the lack of decent air quality) meant that I was on the treadmill a bit. We finally, Thursday I think it was, managed to find our air quality below 100 which seems to be our benchmark, so we headed out for a walk.  I was internally astonished (that restraint thing again) at how much I loved being outside for my morning walk, especially with my bestest beside me.

We managed to take care of a few things on the list. There actually are several lists:  ones in our heads, ones on the fridge, the desks and so on. But we're knocking them off almost as quick as we add new things.  It feels good.

I actually finished the blanket I was crocheting.  I'm glad it wasn't bigger - by the end I had a lot of warmth sitting on my lap.  Summertime isn't the right time for crocheting warm things. 😓  But I'm quite pleased with it.  I started out just wanting to see if I could master the pattern, it's quite simple but I'm aging and finding things are a bit more challenging than they used to be.  When I found the gorgeous purple yarn (for some reason all the pictures make it look dull and brownish and it is anything but that), I knew it would be gifted to someone I care for.  It'll be shipped off tomorrow.  I hope she likes it.  If not, she can discard or give it away, whatever.  What was important for me was the creating and the gifting.  I like being able to give and give freely.  When it's communicated to me that I can't - or shouldn't - I get rebellious.

All done.  :^)

Yesterday morning our walk was later than usual, I've been having a tendency to sleep in a bit.  But it was still barely light-ish when we left.  The first few blocks were on a nearby street.  And there, trotting down the street were two deer, just clopping along down the middle, stopping for a sniff or nibble occasionally, but seemingly out enjoying the morning just like we were.  Lovely.  I think we've seen deer almost everytime we've been out in the morning.

Ran over to Capriotti's for a sandwich yesterday afternoon and coming home we were excited to be able to see our eastern hills.  Clearly.  There was no detectable smoke in the air at all.  Smiles all around!!! Checking our air quality has become a constant lately.  Last night, during the rainstorm, it was down at 18.  Now that was almost thrilling. 

And there's another funeral Robert has been asked by the mortuary to sing for, and me to accompany him.  It's getting harder and harder for me to keep saying yes to everything. This particular piece is one I played often for my Mom growing up.  It was one of her favorites to sing.  But it isn't easy.  Less easy now than it was then. Fortunately this time I have 4 1/2 days to polish it up (that'll never happen, I more aspire to polishing than actually accomplish it) which is a day or so longer than usual.  The funeral is at the same time as my yoga class and The Husband's podiatrist appt.  Small sacrifices to be sure.  But still.  I also got a call yesterday morning to sub on the organ today.  Aching hands make all of this harder than I like.

Today I'm grateful for a morning stroll.  Our Sunday morning walks are very different.  We mostly just want to be outside welcoming the Sabbath.  No goal in mind, no brisk walking, nothing more than saying thank you to our Creator for the beautiful world and our dwelling in it.  And grateful for another (actually several more) projects to get going on.