I Have Been a Tad Stressed.

And I don't like the person I am when I feel so overwhelmed.  Life could be w-a-y harder.  And I'm fully aware.  But too many "little" things all at once can get to me.  And then I become that ornery-person-I-don't-want-to-be.

The roof is completely done. The solar panels are up and generating wattage - when the sun is shining.  We were sure we were going to have to get a new circuit board.  The inverter wasn't working.  The Husband came to me this morning, took my hand and walked me out to the inverter. (In my head, I always think it should be called a converter, because it converts the power generated (direct current) to the power the house uses (alternating current) but I guess when the power gets converted the other direction (AC to DC) then they call it a converter.  Makes little sense to me - they both convert the power.)  And it was working properly!!   The Husband still has a "magic touch" when it really matters. Whatever he did to seat that little board properly, it worked.  So grateful.

Our roofing contractor came out Saturday, did a walk around (he called it a final inspection), picked up a bit of trash debris from the project, we wrote our final check and it is complete.  And this afternoon it has been snowing/raining/blowing.  So grateful to feel safe and weatherproof.  They did a great job.

Our Sunday afternoon meander-walk yielded the picture of the tree budding out.  Spring is on its way.  That means hope.  Grateful for hope.  I need it.

I have a complicated relationship with the organ at church.  And every organ I've ever played.  I wouldn't even call it a love/hate one.  More like an armed cease-fire.  As time goes on, my hands hurt more, I get more and more nervous that I'll totally mess up.  It has happened.  And happened recently to one of the other organists.  (I never did hear how he felt about it, but he's such a confident guy he probably just laughed it off.  I'd have been mortified.  Thus, my continuing dread/anxiety whenever I have to play.) Sunday was Ward Conference so all the Stake Leaders were there.  A couple of the songs were tricky for me.  I practiced and practiced.  And was still nervous.  Then almost as soon as Sacrament meeting was over I received a text from a sweet sister.  We are more acquaintances than friends, so aren't really texting buddies. She simply acknowledged that there's practice involved and that her spirits are lifted when I play the organ.  Talk about a totally unexpected "attaboy".  Don't really feel like I deserve it but for almost a full minute, I felt seen, recognized.  And maybe even a teensy valued. Heart grateful.

Today has been one of those "Mondays".  Fittingly.  The Husband has been having a prolonged flare-up of his degenerative disc disease.  He spent most of last night in the recliner with the heating pad. Wide awake.  Too much pain.  If he's upright he's almost mobile.  Sitting or standing are difficult at best.  And when he's in bed, he has to be on his left side, even then he'll twitch a lot as his nerves complain. I can hardly stand to see him suffer so.  But he finally got on the phone and has an appointment for tomorrow.  Hopefully our doctor friend will be able to help alleviate some of the misery.

Our fridge had no milk, no lettuce, only a couple aging apples and nothing remotely appealing.  Headed off to the store and halfway there got a notification I've never seen on this car.  Low tire pressure.  Went to the air filler (it is really a fancy one, that I was sure I could handle and the air was free).  Filled all the tires (so proud of myself) then decided while I was there by the pumps I'd fill the tank with gas.  Got out to begin the filling process, looked down and saw something that made my heart just drop and the tears threaten.  A nail in my tire.  From the roofing.  The Husband can't help, his back makes him indisposed.  Up the hill to Big O tire.  In the rain/snow.  They had the car in and fixed the tire and had me back on the road in less than an hour.  For free.  He handed me the key and said I was good to go and I said, no, I have to pay.  He said no worries, I could tell you were stressed, just drive safe and have a good afternoon.  Of course, then I sat in the car and wept.  Had to get that out of my system in order to drive.  Again:  more gratitude.  

Repentance for my attitude is in order.  As is a prayer of gratitude for bit of kindness tossed my way.