I started this yesterday, then had to save it for today. It's probably a good thing. I've re-thought (and re-written) what was on here.
I've thought a lot lately about life and life success. Of course, we all know that just because someone is wealthy or powerful doesn't necessarily mean they are succeeding at life. I've often thought that life success is more about qualities an individual possesses. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Selflessness. Spirituality (whatever the religion). Consideration of others. Just to name a few.
Today was one of those days I totally failed at succeeding in life.
I'm already on edge/frustrated because of this dang foot that is non-stop troublesome. The partial thickness tear in my rotator cuff that causes incessant pain. And discouragement. It's been a mite challenging.
(Not to mention the neighborhood non-stop-barking dog. Sigh. And he's been at it again this morning. Sigh...again. He stands out in their yard and just barks continually--at nothing!!)
We've had an ongoing issue with Google - the provider of our internet service. They are trying to charge us twice for a nest device we bought (and paid for) back in April. Constant emails that our bill needs to be paid (we paid our regular monthly bill but balked at the extra second charge) or our internet will be interrupted feel threatening.
After roughly an hour and a half on the phone with an extraordinarily patient Google employee, he finally said they would remove that charge from our account. By this time I had wept a bucket of frustration/anger/disappointed tears. I know I don't handle stress very well. I'm better than I used to be, but it is a long hard road for me to be calm and patient when I'm getting nowhere. Now, it remains to be seen if all of this effort proves successful. But at least there is a glimmer of hope.
I've snapped at The Husband - which is never ok. He is always more important than things/stuff. I feel like groveling at his feet in sorrow because of my lack. But ever the successful-at-life person that he is, he just smiles and hugs me.
Tried some hibiscus herbal tea. I loved the scent. And the color. And actually thoroughly enjoyed the taste. I've been put off of herbal teas in the past because it always tasted like drinking grass - ugh. This was so fun. My preferred drink on a cold day is hot chocolate, but I'm reluctant to add that much unnecessary (is sugar ever really necessary?) sugar into my intake for the day.
So today: I'm again (and every day it seems) grateful for repentance and the hope for full forgiveness. I know true repentance means you determine to not repeat the offense. And I try so hard. But will again repent and again and again until I can finally conquer those despicable parts of me. I'm grateful for our elliptical. Since I'm in the boot (again) and it's been so very cold (not good for The Husband to walk in) outside in the early mornings, the elliptical has been a mental life saver for me. I'm grateful that dang dog is finally either inside or tired of barking. I'm grateful for a kind friend that reached out with an invitation to dinner even though we've company coming and aren't able to accept. It's extraordinarily lovely to be invited, to be thought of, to be cared for. And I'm really grateful for a new day to try again to be a better disciple of our Savior. I hope He never gives up on me.
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