Smartphone?

About a year and a half ago, I inherited a no-longer-needed smartphone from The Husband.  (It was a Christmas gift from his employer, they've done that for all their employees for several years.)  I loved my other phone, it was one I picked out and was burgundy - not boring black. But I wanted to try a cheap data plan so I'd have access to our calendars and e-mail when I was out an about.

So last week there was a system update for the phone.  And it's gone amok.  The auto-fill, auto-correct feature on texting is now w-a-y over the top - inserting entire phrases, using similar-but-wrong-words.  I spend more time correcting the auto-correct/auto-fill than I do entering my entire text. What makes this stupid smartphone think it knows better than me what I want to say?

And another thought:  Yes, I know I'm overweight.  Yes, I exercise most every day.  (There's no rule prohibiting fat people from exercising.)  And yes, I'm sure you were trying to be kind.  But, Sweetie, your bones are no smaller/finer than mine.  I just have lots more (all natural) padding, and I'm 15 years older than you are.  I get extra points for persevering in spite of my age and padding, don't I?