Ashamed

I am a little ashamed of myself.

I've mentioned how much I enjoy my solitude as I walk in the morning.  Lately I've encountered a woman and her two friends that annoy me - a lot.

Only one of two deer I saw today.

She is determined to greet everyone she meets and have them return her morning hello.  (Her greeting is w-a-y too chipper-loud.  She is by nature a loud somewhat pushy person. I have seen this person at church meetings.  I'm aware of her personality.) Now I realize that civility and good manners would compel me to return her greeting.  But something about her makes me feel mulish.  So I rebel.  I've tried looking away, giving her a meager smile, lifting my hand in a half-wave.  Nothing deters her from barraging me with her "good morning, how are you" and demanding my response.

She walks in the opposite direction so I generally see her going and coming.  This morning's outbound walk brought not only a good morning from her, but she actually stuck her hand in front of my face and waved it as she yelled her good morning.  (And yes, she yells.  At this point it might be inferred that I could be irritated by just about anything she does.  And that would probably be correct.  Hey, I never said I was perfect, in fact I fully recognize that anti-social part of me. I'm just a frumpy old lady.)

I actually felt a little like my personal space was violated.  It was, really, just rude.

So I did something rude in return.  When next I saw them coming toward me and I knew I would be yet again accosted I just couldn't do it.  So... get closer...wait for it... then at just the right moment I pulled out my phone, looked at the screen and proceeded to talk to it.  I channeled my inner Angelina Jolie-actress and played the part to the hilt.  I pretended to have a phone call.  I was dishonest.

The bad(good) part was:  it worked.  She didn't talk to me.  Just walked on by.  Had she turned around she would have seen me stuffing my phone back into my pocket and breathing a huge sigh of relief.  Peace returned.

And now:  I feel guilty for being unkind.   (Surely by now I should be ok with ignoring someone that tells me what to do. Somehow that seems at odds with trying to be kind.)  Maybe tomorrow I won't see her.