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| Our first roses of the season. |
Read an article the other day that reached down and grabbed my heart. The things the woman was writing were totally thoughts I've had. She was writing about her parents and their less-than-enjoyable relationship and while hers wasn't quite the scenario for me, there have been relationships in my life that have fit her description perfectly. That have caused me to struggle.
She wrote: "I kept showing up, time after time, expecting different people to magically appear. I kept expecting that they would change."
I think I've been guilty of believing in magic. Believing that the people that I love/enjoy/work with/crave-to-be-around would magically reciprocate. I kept expecting they would change - that I would finally be enough, or wouldn't be an embarrassment to them, or wouldn't be...less than/ the worst.
So I hoped, and tried, and gave, and gave some more. Results were mixed.
This woman's view was a mini-revelation. Something my head has always known - and perhaps even voiced - but my heart has been off somewhere else. It isn't my place to change them. Or even point out their flaws. (Having been the recipient of this kind of "love" I fully understand what I shouldn't do.)
That doesn't mean I don't miss someone's friendship or wish I had a better relationship with so and so. I do. If that can happen while allowing them to be who they are - flaws and all - so much the better. I'm responsible for me.
As she said, "Accept and allow." I expect there'll be some comfort in that practice.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/secret-to-getting-along-with-your-parents/
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