So Embarrassed!

I've been rehearsing with a choir made up of families for our Stake conference today.  Was invited to accompany them.  A simple little primary song.  One I've played at least a couple hundred (no exaggeration!) times.  Easy peasy.

Except.

Except for the fact that someone (not knowing my history of accompanying many people over the last number of decades) said I was doing fine, she knows it can be scary, but I'm doing fine.   (I know she meant to be supportive - but it felt a little different, left me feeling on edge.)

Except for the fact that that particular piano has a really strange "touch" - never mind that it is the same brand as the one we have here at home.  It just feels weird.  It's difficult to explain how difficult it is to play.

Except for the fact that I got nervous. (Not sure I've ever played in Stake Conference before.)

Sat down, waited for the signal from the conductor, hands on the appropriate keys.  And....hit the first two chords as though I'd just plunked my entire hands down on the keyboard.  Seriously.

With only a slight hiccup in her directing, the chorister continued on (I'm certain her mind was screaming out, "W-h-a-a-a-t?!?!?") So I followed.  Didn't make a single mistake the entire rest of the song.  Nary a one.

I'd like to think that no one noticed.  I'd be trying to fool myself.  I know there were those who noticed.  As I sat there and berated myself for the mess-up I was so discouraged.

We heard some good talks, by people who have conquered (or are conquering) some tough things. My silly piano mistake kind of paled in comparison.  Still, though, I am embarrassed.  I've been doing this since I was a kid.  I thought I was over this kind of thing.  I hope I didn't detract too much from the choir and their lovely music.  I'd be super sad if I did.  Perhaps Heavenly Father won't give it another thought.  Perfect I will never be.

Heard a couple thoughts I really liked.  One was something to the effect that if we try, and are sensitive to the spirit we can find love for another even in the most trying and difficult of circumstances (in spite of their behavior).  Another:  The Spirit is never frantic.  Another:  No one escapes this life without trials.  Another:  Service is the best way to feel our Heavenly Father's love. Nothing new in any of these words.  They just had a little extra impact today.

Today's experience is among the kind of experiences I get if ever I start to get too full of myself.  The message:  now, don't get cocky!  Lesson learned, again, for the umpteenth time.  Will I ever get it?

I'm grateful today that at least I didn't trip going up / down the stairs on my way to / from the piano. That would have been even more humiliating!