Anxious

January here in the Salt Lake Valley is generally a time of gunky yucky air.  We live in a geographic bowl.  When it gets really cold, the cold air is trapped by the upper warmer air (the inversion) that smells and looks pretty ugly.  I try really hard to just "go with the flow" and not let it get to me.  This year has been less problematic than in other years, we've had quite a series of storms that has kept the air mixed and clear.

Until this week.  Every morning I get out of bed and look anxiously at the skies.  Can I see the mountains?  Across the valley?  And every morning I trudge downstairs to the treadmill.  I know it's a huge luxury to have a treadmill.  And I manage to get the news read while I'm treading.  It just doesn't have quite the same soul-lift that walking outside in the sunrise does.  They're saying we've another series of storms coming through, if I can just make it through another couple days. But I'm anxious.  I miss my outdoors morning walks.

Last cherry hill.  Yummy.

Last night I finished off the last of my Christmas chocolate.  I savored every single taste.  Wonderful. Which memory will have to last for a while.  The Husband is back on his strict low (practically NO) carb way of eating.  I don't do very well on that.  I try to not have lots of refined carbs anyway, but reducing them even further is a challenge - I don't feel quite so good physically, not to mention the sense of total deprivation my mind/emotions feel.  I fully support The Husband in his efforts to lose weight and be healthy.  But it's hard to not be united in our eating styles.  It's a challenge.

I so love flowers.

I'm anxious to finish my pile of books.  I love reading, but somehow think I should be doing something more productive, dislike feeling like I shouldn't be doing something I so enjoy.  I'm anxious to finish up my needlework project so I can start on the next one. I'm anxious to take a bit of a "field trip" - wonder if I could find someone to go with me so The Husband doesn't have to go (it's a needlework shop, boring for him). I'm anxious for a bit of a vacation - I'd love a getaway.

Today I'm grateful for the hope of some cleaner more enjoyable air outside.  I'm grateful for library books that are delivered right to my hands.  I'm grateful for the arrival of my new BlendTec jar - I've missed my smoothies while waiting for the new jar to arrive - today will be the test.  I'm grateful that I understand that sometimes my anxiousness is just silly - self-inflicted pressure.  But sometimes it's a good thing that prompts me to action. I'm grateful for orchids that still bloom ( in spite of my clumsy care).  And for grandchilluns.