Just Thinking

 I've been occupied lately with concern about Ukraine and all the troubles going on over there.  In the beginning, it was headline news.  For weeks.  Now, it seems, I have to search for news of that conflict.  It just goes on.  Sadly.

I vacillate lately between discouragement and feeling chipper. Often it feels like just "too much".  All winter long I fuss and bother (just in my head) about traveling around in the ice and snow and worry about all the loved ones staying accident-free and healthy.  I always breathe a sigh of relief when it turns April and May and I know the snow and ice won't be problematic for several months.

Then the heat begins (it's triple digits today, tomorrow, the next day and...).  And the rains don't come (or there wasn't enough snow over the winter) and the first wildfire starts. And my stomach clenches.  And it'll stay in that state until around the beginning of October.  When I feel like I can relax again (unless we're heading to the beach and it's still hurricane season).  For a few days until it gets cold and starts to snow.  An endless round of anxiety.  

Momma & 3 fawns

But:  this morning we walked past the field where the momma deer and her three young un's have been hanging out and there they were.  I dread the day they try to bound across 1300 East and some car doesn't stop in time.  Yes, I'm just a bundle of optimism.  😐  Still, it was fun to see them this morning.  And they weren't the only deer I saw.

The sunrise was really pretty - as have been the sunsets - but that's mostly because the sun is reflecting off the smoke hanging in the sky.  

Headed off to the eye dr.  We've considered changing dr.'s but it just feels like too much trouble.  I was pleased, though, to hear that he still thinks I'm seeing extraordinarily well.  My eye pressure is still on the high end - but then that seems to be where I hover always.  I'm just tightly wound, even my eyes. 😳

Am spending more than I like for some new prescription sunglasses.  I pretty much need them to be able to read.  And am concerned how they'll be - sunglasses seem to mostly be more curved and I'm quite sensitive to the "base curve" of the lenses.  I guess we'll see.  I hope I haven't wasted that money.

And I came across this article which I found interesting.  Especially since I learned that most self-check-outs are equipped with cameras/mirrors overhead (it was super naive of me to not expect that).  Makes me even more nervous about using the self-check.  Avoid Self Check-Out

I've been a bundle of worry about the kids and the grandkids. This one has that going on and that one has been this way and that one has this.  Maybe tonight's dinner with a couple friends (we're actually going to a pizza place where everyone but me has been and I'm looking forward to it.  I can't remember the last time we went for pizza!) will help me to decompress a bit.  

I'm grateful for a teensy bit of let-up in the coughing.  Maybe soon I'll find my voice again.  It's been lost for quite a while - people keep clearing their throats around me hoping that'll trigger me to clear mine in the hopes I'll sound human again instead of croaking.  Sorry, doesn't help.  Maybe soon.

I'm grateful for being able to go for pizza tonight and for social security coming in tomorrow, we're out of food money.  💰 Time for a refill.  Also looking forward to yoga tomorrow.  I have plenty of water and throat lozenges to get me through.