Just Thinking

 Sometimes I wonder if I'm not inside my head w-a-y too much.  Too much thinking going on.

Was chatting with The Husband while he was taking a short break from yard work.  Told him I still really love our home and don't want to move.  But I am beginning to wonder how much longer we can stay here.  How much longer we can do what's required to take care of things on a daily/weekly basis.  I was mentally moaning about the vacuuming.  It takes me a minimum of 40 minutes to vacuum the main floor.  And by the time I'm done, I'm aching a bit.  It's hard on my shoulder. 

The garden has been happy this year.  That means it's been a bit of work.  I worry about The Husband out there in the heat.  He called me out for a "consultation":  could we just take out some of these overwhelming plants? Of course, I said.  Whatever you like.  Within a short time the corn (all the ears had been eaten anyway) plants were out, the taking-over-the-continent armenian cucumber plant is history (though he actually picked 6 or 7 beforehand), the carrots he planted (and which he says didn't taste all that great) from last year's seeds just to fill in the space that was getting watered anyway are all in the mulch pile.  And it feels good.  Feels clean.  Feels fresh.  I like it.

We have always loved having a garden.  The satisfaction derived is unquantifiable.  Things - overall - just taste better freshly harvested and where we know they've been grown without chemicals.  But this year it has felt a bit much.  We've given so much of the produce away, I wonder why we keep spending so much on the plant starts and then the water and then the time to take care of everything.  I really do like to share, but it just seemed too much this year. As much as The Husband loves to grow things  - he does have a knack for it - even he seems just done. 

I think I'm just ready for the season to change.  This has felt like a really long summer.  Is it because we haven't had a lot to look forward to?  Is it because our sleep has been so disrupted by outside lights?  Is it because we're aging?  Or is it the heat? It's been hot for sure.  And I like it cooler better.

We do have our beach trip to look forward to.  I'm starting to get a tad stressed about it.  We like to go the time of year we usually go:  the heat of the summer has diminished, school is back in session so the island is quieter/calmer, the house we rent is cheaper.  The big trouble is that our preferred time is smack in the middle of hurricane season.  I would hate to be stuck somewhere (not at home) during one of those storms that seem to be getting more destructive every year.  I worry about things at home being ok.  I'm not a big fan of flying.  So perhaps, I'm thinking too much about it.  Yup, probably.

And in an act of rebellion, I wandered in the powder room where a couple plants have been languishing.  Took them straight out to the garage where they are now residing inside the garbage bin.  And I feel better, a lot of pressure relieved.  Now if only I can figure out how to eliminate the guilt.  :^)

The bid for the blackout shades was w-a-y too high.  I've got all my hopes pinned on the company coming out on Tuesday.  I'm ready for less stress.  

But I am grateful today.  Grateful for progress being made on the raggy blanket I'm making.  Grateful for leftovers for dinner.  (Tried something different.  For several reasons, I didn't want to cook the pasta for spaghetti last night.  So, the meat sauce went over rice.  And frankly, I think I prefer it that way. So tonight's leftovers will taste better to me.) Grateful to have options for the window coverings.  Grateful to be able to head to class at the rec center on Monday and see a couple friends.  And I'm grateful for new hearing aids for The Husband.  I'm so hoping they'll make a difference, they are definitely an upgrade from his previous ones that he wore begrudgingly. And grateful for a beautiful sunshiny day that isn't so hot.