Hard Things

I've w-a-y too many things running through my mind.  The person conducting Sacrament meeting today said we as a ward really needed today's meeting themed something along the lines of receiving the fullness of the Savior, especially through steadfast behavior.  Apparently there's lots of stuff going on in the ward that is hard.  I wouldn't know about any of it.  All I see is extravagant trips and life being an apparently 24/7/365 party.  But whatever.  There were two pretty decent talks, and the third person tried.  

It's been an interesting week.  We visited one of our sisters we minister to.  She's pretty much non-verbal but her birthday is this coming week and we wanted to take her to lunch.  That's worked in the past.  But her husband says that is no longer an option.  We thought our visit would be a few minutes at most.  But the couple met us at the door and we stayed over an hour, having a fun visit: the husband, my partner and I with a few words from our sweet sister.  She's attentive and receptive to the conversation, just can't speak.  Must be so very hard for her.  It was a lovely visit and I think was good for all four of us. 

I took this picture of the oregon grape that is growing so lush and pretty in front of their house.  A reminder of a very tender visit that showed us the depth of a husband's care.  

And yesterday was my sister-in-law's funeral.  I was so very conflicted about going.  I pretty much avoid funerals if I can, they just do me in.  But somehow felt compelled to go to this one.  I hadn't heard from my niece since she told me my sister-in-law was put on hospice.  I just monitored the news/obituaries and found the information I needed.  We had a lovely two hour drive to Logan.  Arrived just in time to see all three of my sister-in-law's children for a minute before the service.  I was quite nervous about how I'd be received.  Not sure if they'd be upset that I didn't dash up to see their Mom before she died.  I tried, but frankly just couldn't.  Lots and lots of regrets about the years that have passed.  It's been a long time since we've been up there.  We were at the wedding of both of my nephews, at the passing of my brother and several other occasions that were important to attend.  So we have had a cordial relationship.  But it's been a while.  

Anyway, my nephew saw us walk in and made a beeline for us, pulled me in for a big hug and just was so kind my heart melted.  The other nephew did the same.  And then we finally saw the niece - just as they were closing the door to say the family prayer - she turned to me and said "you came!" Needless to say I shed a few tears during the ensuing couple hours.  

The funeral was lovely and just an hour long.  My sister-in-law was a treasure. And she and my brother had a wonderfully close marriage and raised a wonderful family.  I had planned to leave right after the funeral, but realized that she was being buried next to my brother, whose grave I have never seen.  So, off to the cemetery we went, stuck around for the grave dedication.  I was ready to leave but then recognized that the pictures that were being taken of the family were under the direction of the mortuary.  Every mortuary does things so differently.  But this was thoughtful and such a store of memories for the family.  So we lingered, watching it all take place.  My heart was so touched.  

Wandering off to the car I heard our names called.  These three wonderful people were all hustling after us to say thanks for coming.  In the midst of their grief at burying their Mother they were most anxious to let me know that it was important to them that we were there. There were more - and more - hugs all around. If nothing else, I felt acknowledged - more than that welcomed.  My nephew said to me there was nothing from them but love.  I truly do admire all three of them.

Crispy Cones, yum!

We begged off the luncheon even though they invited us more than once; I felt like that was for their family and close friends.  They've all been raised in that little town next to Logan so there is a long history there.  But The Husband was hungry.  I had seen an ice cream place advertised somewhere, maybe it was Instagram, and on the way in to town had noticed the store.  So there we went.  What an interesting place.  I pared my order down as much as I could, and then watched The Husband go for the whole deal and thoroughly enjoy it.  It was expensive, as most everything seems these days.  But a good pick-me-up after a day that had left me a blubbery mess. crispy cones

The drive home was horrendous.  The pretty morning had turned into a full on storm.  Lots of thunder and lightning and rain,rain,rain.  Traffic was heavy and I think some people lose their dang minds when it comes to heavy traffic, heavy rain and wet pavement.  A drive that was supposed to take about 2 hours turned into nearly three.   (Actually even longer since we stopped for 10 minutes at the grocery and 15 minutes at Chick-fil-A.)  I was so happy to finally be home.

I had a hankering for some chicken soup.  It was supposed to rain today (it did - heavily and for most of the afternoon) and be cooler (it was) so soup seemed right.  I always forget which noodles I like, and which ones get lots bigger after cooking.  So I kept adding noodles and we ended up with basically a chicken noodle casserole instead of chicken noodle soup.  Had enough to share with a couple people and  still had some for our dinner tomorrow.  Though I'll be adding some broth so it's more like soup.  I took some to my friend and wondered aloud why I keep taking her food.  I feel like such an awful cook.  I guess it's a roundabout way of taking her some love.

And I've lots more thoughts spinning round inside my head but this is already w-a-y long.  So, here's the gratitude:  I'm so grateful for kind people, even and especially when they are hurting themselves.  That shows real character.  I'm grateful we made it home in spite of the weather and traffic.  At times yesterday the freeway speed was about 15 mph.  But that was probably the safer speed. I'm grateful for the rain.  We need it so.  And that also makes me grateful we live here - I would never make it in Seattle where it rains like this all the time. I'm grateful for chicken soup.  And for good books to read.  And for a really good roof over our head.  And for people (that's most often The Husband) who have patience with me and my dark moods.