Tuesday Thinking

I've been in the thick of a few things lately.  And it makes me feel old.  Again.  Irrelevant, invisible, incompetent.  To name just a few things.

We had a hall chat on Sunday with a couple people that we thoroughly enjoy.  And I truly know she has a good heart and kind intentions.  But she said - most sincerely - thanks to me for showing them the way.  I wasn't sure what she meant, and found out that she was saying we're showing them the way to grow old.  Now, I get what she was saying and know her intention was to be encouraging.  But the flip-side of the comment was to call us out as being old.  It was bothersome.  And has bugged me a bit.

Then, we had to set up an online access system with our new finance guys.  Talk about incompetent (not them...me).  We finally had to have a conference call with the the finance guys' assistant and the investment company.  It wasn't hard, really.  Just had to have a few things cleared up, including online things on the investment company's side. But really, I just felt old and inadequate.

Last Nov./Dec. was stressful.  Finding new insurances took some time and mental gymnastics.  (Yes, my mind isn't quite as quick as it used to be.) Don't know how anyone manages this kind of stuff without an actual agent.  Four policies (homeowner's, auto, umbrella, earthquake) can get complicated in a finger snap. Had to chat with the agent again last night regarding my inability to figure out the website so as to get the payments done.  Yes, I did say:  my inability.  But I will submit that the website isn't the easiest to navigate.

So there it is.  I have felt overloaded, overwhelmed and under capable.  Technology changes all the time.  And when you only access a website a time or two over the year it is easy to lose track of what is important.  I'm easily lost when it comes to tech.  So afraid that I'll click something I shouldn't, delete something important or miss what's valuable.  

And here I am, complaining a bit about technology which has been a huge blessing the world over. Then I came across this article this morning.  Blessings can still be a trial  I freely own up to being old. And it often feels like the world is passing me by.   But I can manage to get the help I need when I need it.  I can still attempt the tech that intimidates me.  I can mostly manage the blessing even while recognizing my fears.  I am still grateful for the enhancement to life that tech provides.  Even for old people.

I try to find some gratitude in every day.  Even when I'm overloaded, overwhelmed and under capable.  I'm grateful today for computers that make it so much easier to handle things when distance is prohibitive of face-to-face contact.  I'm grateful for a snug, comfortable home where we feel safe.  I'm grateful for the changing weather - it's so fun to look outside and see the wind blowing the fast falling snow even in the sunshine.  And amidst the contentious political climate (election years are getting more and more troublesome) I'm grateful to know that the sun will rise tomorrow and life will go on regardless of the outcome of the election.  I am committed to the knowledge that the purposes of our Creator will be fulfilled.