Luxuries

A few luxuries I enjoyed today:

Staying in bed until nearly 9 a.m. -- sinful!

Warm towels ready to wrap around me when I come out of the shower.

Cafe Rio lunch so that I don't have to fix anything.

Chocolate frosted chocolate doughnut for dinner - with chocolate milk. Again sinful.

Playing a game on my iPad until the battery is nearly exhausted.

Getting my p.j.'s on when it gets dark - about 5:30 this time of year - and knowing no one will come to the door so it is safe to do so.

Knowing that I don't have to go out tomorrow at all and loving that I don't have to.

And finally, the luxury of knowing I can stay warm inside when it is 12 degrees outside.

Farewell to 2010 and the hope that 2011 will be a better year for my family, friends and even maybe.....me!

Winter Is Here

Spent the last two days mostly at home, indoors avoiding the snowy streets, irritable drivers and finger-numbing temperatures.

Had to venture out tonight for the visitation of my friend. And since we were out, treated ourselves to some Market Street Broiler clam chowder.

And remind myself why I'm a homebody, especially after dark (especially after dark in the winter) especially when home is my favorite place to be.

Emotional

Today is another emotional day for me. I just can't seem to get it under control. But then again, it's been another day of distressing news. A dear friend lost her husband last night. 6 1/2 years ago he was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. He was strong and determined, but his body finally succumbed to that horrid disease. And now my friend is a widow. And this has caused me much contemplation today: thinking of all the things to do to wrap up a loved one's mortal existence, and then to face each day alone - basically completely alone. No one to sleep with, or wake with, or plan for, or chat with...it just sounds miserable. Barely existing.

And this house that we love echoes so since the departure of all those relatives. Wondering how long it will be until we see them again, and if they will still love us when we do. Or if that part of their heart will be full of someone else. And will they remember to keep in touch? And are there enough hugs to go around? (This from the woman who had to learn to hug, to touch, who grew up with parents who only had a strict "no-touch" policy.) Thank heavens for cellphones and computers and cars and planes.

I thought I was all cried out.

Tomorrow will be a stay-at-home day. I need to replenish, refresh, rejuvenate and revive.

2 Days After Christmas...

And the cousins are all gone. The Christmas stuff is all put away, some of the cleaning and laundry is done and the house feels quite empty.

8 of our 9 grandchilluns will now live out of state. We want so much for each of them to know how much we love them. We miss them and know that we won't be able to see them near enough. But I hope to always remember the sweet hug around my neck from the 4 year old as we said our good-byes, and the kindness from our 18 year-old granddaughter as she told me she loves me. My heart was just aching so.

As 2010 fades into the past, I wonder what the new year will bring and if I can find enough hope to get me through the hard times.

Prayers, hope, faith and the ability to recognize those tender mercies that I so undeservedly receive are my watchwords.

Onward.....

2 Days Till Christmas....

And The Cousins are coming, The Cousins are coming!! They'll all be here together on Christmas day and what fun we plan to have.

And I'm wishing my (recently departed) Mother a Happy Birthday.

And I'm wondering how I'll manage to keep 16 people comfortable, fed and in a good mood for the next 5 days. Perhaps those Christmas elves will stick around for an extra day or two.

and my knees are getting a workout as I seek Heavenly Help, Inspiration and Comfort; and express Gratitude. It's all a never-ending process as I comprehend all that is due to our Heavenly Father.

Sugar

Still wondering how I can be such a sour old puss when I ingest so much of that dagblasted sugar. So matter how much I try to avoid it, it just leaps up into my mouth and down my throat! I'll be a bloated sugar plum fairy for sure this year.

Forgetful

Someone said this to me today: "A clear conscience is a sign of a forgetful mind." So appropriate for people like me that are getting more and more forgetful as the days go by. Forgetting things that one must really remember or suffer the consequences.

Now, what was I saying?

Five Guys

Sure tasted good for dinner. Would have tasted better without that nasty fake cheese they use - which I wasn't supposed to have but got anyway.

Now we're lucky enough to smell like hamburgers for the night until our clothes are washed or the smell dissipates, whichever comes first.

Sleep

To sleep late, and up early for several nights in a row, leaves me physically tired and emotionally wrung. I've been so very concerned about a few things that even when I do sleep, my mind is fussing so that it isn't good rest.

I think those bears have it right: sleep the winter away (no shopping, wrapping, worrying) and be ready to face the world again when it comes alive in the spring!!

Thursday Morning / Ready for a Vacation

While doing my morning computer routine, I came across my horoscope. It says I can't please everyone. Is that just for today? Or everyday? And why not? I should be able to.

Heading off for a Christmas party I have almost been excited about: a sock exchange. Wishing that my socks will make the cut for one of the prizes, but not expecting anything. (My new mantra: No Expectations. But somehow it's harder to put into practice than it is to repeat.)

Dreading teaching Sunday School on Sunday. Why is it that I have such a hard time with this calling? I've been ready for a change since before it was official! There really should be a calling with my name on it: something I'd really love, really enjoy, want to do, and could make a contribution doing. Must be a lesson in this that I just can't get.

Trendy

Read this today: I was trendy once; it was an accident.

I don't think I've ever been trendy, even by accident.

Are Mondays Always Weird?

If that is the case, then today was a normal (weird) Monday.

I think I mailed a Christmas card to my niece at the wrong address.

Was approached by some stranger again. I really believe it happens more to me than to most people. They seem to single me out from among all the people around to ask me something, or tell me something. Even when I have my "I'm busy, don't want to talk to anyone, leave me alone" aura going.

It's 6:45 p.m. and the mail still hasn't come.

I always seem to mail my Christmas cards on the day they say is the busiest mail day of the year. How do I know?

I think I'm pretty ready for Christmas until I remember we don't have anything for one of our daughters. Must think harder.

Saturday....

And two weeks before Christmas is NOT a good time to be hitting Costco, or Target. (Although our trip into Target lasted not more than 10 minutes: we found our item, plucked it from the shelf, hot-footed it to the registers where we found one with nary a person in it and fled the store before our luck changed!)

I received some good news regarding a dear friend who has been in intensive care. He seems to have turned a corner toward recovery. YAY!!

I'm shaking my head over the version of Silent Night we heard at the symphony. I don't ever remember in my whole life hearing an arrangement I detested as much as the one last night.

Still waiting for that "Christmas Spirit" to kick in. And thinking I might have to wait for next year.

Most of the gifts are wrapped, only have a couple things to pick up. The house is fairly clean. And I think I need a long winter's nap.

Ungrateful

Today's thoughts are mostly ungrateful ones:

Sad that more of my grandchilluns are moving away.

Wishing that I could please more people more of the time, instead of disappointing them.

Wanting to just lock myself away and play computer games or read or sew for a year or so.

Wednesday

Today I'm thinking I'm grateful for a new dishwasher. It's so nice.

I'm grateful I don't have to go to Costco again anytime soon (at least I hope not.) Today's visit was insanity.

I'm grateful for Family Home Evening, and someone else doing the lesson.

I'm grateful to have The Hubby working at home. He's a delight!

Bread

Great Harvest's cinnamon burst bread makes the best toast!! We ate an entire loaf between the two of us in two days. We're bursting with bread goodness.

Brunch at a friends, a trip to the grocery topped off with chocolate almonds made for a satisfying Tuesday.

Completing several more levels on Angry Birds was also satisfying.....

Carbs

Let's see if I can remember this right (something someone told me today): "there are no carbs in a gift." Meaning, I guess that all those gelatos I got with gift cards (and Cold Stone and Jamba Juice) were all carb free. Does that equal healthy?

If so, bring on those goodie gift cards!!

Tangled

Saw this movie this afternoon....got completely tangled up in it.

Music

It's best to not let your mind wander when you're playing some music with other people and you need to be counting. 1 & 2 & 3 & .....

MPG

I was feeling a bit sad that my car seems to be only getting about 45 MPG at this point. Until The Hubby reminded me that 45 MPG is still great mileage. Well, sure, yeah...but I want that extra 5 MPG. Where can I find it? I think everywhere I go I must find a way to get there going downhill. If only.

Shopping

I'm feeling quite "elvish" - they must have been attending me today as I did some shopping. Had more success than I expected. Only have to make another couple trips. But that's just for the grandchilluns....whatever am I going to do about the chilluns? Wonder if there are enough elves to help me there.