Stunned

Only 1 flip-flop?

Friday morning on my walk, I noticed the two pair of shoes by the playground (started with one pair, then a second pair joined the first) had recruited a friend.  A single flip flop.  Now I can understand kids running off and forgetting their shoes, after all they're playing barefoot in the dirt.  But only one flip flop?  I can't fathom running around with only one shoe/sandal. 

New Iron

The iron arrived.  I've yet to use it.  I hope it's a good one.  And I hope it doesn't go crazy and start melting like my last one.

It was a bit of a change when our neighbor's house sold and we went from three princess girls to a younger family with 1 princess and 4 rambunctious boys.  We've had boys up high in the trees, boys down in our window-well, boys climbing our fence, a rather large influx of balls in the yard that have required returning, bobbing heads over the fence as they play on their trampoline, and discussions about privacy and respecting other's property. They're a fun little family. They're currently all out of town again. (Yes, mail duty again.) And I remarked this morning how quickly I had become accustomed to the more "active" lifestyle going on next door.  Since they're all out of town it's dead quiet and feels odd.

And the stunned part?  Was invited to meet with the Bishop yesterday morning.  Was convinced he was going to ask me to play the organ 50% of the time instead of the current 30%.  (Had heard via the busy grapevine that the second of the four organists was "done" and it would be down to only us two, instead of the three.)  I fear I've been too vocal, complained too much (that's one of my oh-so-many faults:  I'm a complainer) and they decided they'd had enough. 

Anyway, the bottom line to the visit with the Bishop was that he released me from playing the organ.  Even went so far as to say that as long as he's Bishop I won't be playing the organ again.  Stunned was truly my feeling.

Even now, 24 hours later, it doesn't seem real.  I've played the organ pretty near non-stop (there were a few breaks over the years but I mostly did it in conjunction with all the other callings I've had).  Of course, I'm always willing and anxious to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do.  But the organ and I have never been friends, it was never my desire (or choice, really) to play it.  And now that I'm done with it (for now, at least) I almost feel like I've failed somehow (because I've complained), that I've disappointed Heavenly Father (by complaining) and like I'm being kicked out (stupid, eh?).

I'm not even feeling a huge (or small) relief of that burden.  I just feel kind of empty.

But I'm still able to feel some gratitude.  Gratitude that the Bishop seemed to care about me.  I mostly feel invisible and irrelevant at church.  I'm grateful for a husband who takes such good care of me - even to the point of going outside at 7 a.m. to make sure my bike tires will hold air and be good (haven't ridden the bike since early last summer, and only a couple times even then) for my bike ride tomorrow morning.  I'm grateful for wonderfully thoughtful and gracious around-the-corner neighbors who invite us over for shaved ice and conversation, it was lovely to be there with a couple other families and just relax and chat.  I'm grateful for answers to prayer - even though they might not be the answers I expect.