Nervous, Still

Yesterday's sunrise.

The closer our trip to the beach gets, the more nervous I am.  The Husband has learned to just roll with it - even laugh at me.  I'm such a homebody.  And such a worrywart.  Stuff that I came to earth with, and have coped with to some degree - I'm not nearly as much of a worrywart as I used to be.  At least not worrying so much that people would notice (I try to hide it).

The guys are working hard on the stucco, trying to get it finished before we leave so they can get paid. It's looking so good, they really do beautiful work (as beautiful as stucco gets).  The blasted parts of the steps are finally getting hauled off, I begin to see progress.  Everywhere except for our poor suffering lawn.  But - it'll be fine eventually.

Peaches

I'm off in a bit for lunch with my V. T. partner and the ladies we visit teach.  Am apprehensive about it all - after all, each one of these sisters is an assignment, so they aren't necessarily people I just clicked with, sought out as friends.  Prayers have been abundant.

Yesterday mornings walk netted a couple pictures - the one of the sunrise, I can never get enough of sunrises. They fill my heart with hope.  The peach carpet under the peach tree was just a fun visual. The fence between me and the tree posed some difficulties, so the picture could have been better had I been taller and brave enough to climb the fence (I'd like to think I'd never do that on someone else's property).

Big Cottonwood Canyon

Saturday we just turned our backs on stuff that needing doing and drove up the canyon.  Last time it was Little Cottonwood Canyon.  This time is was Big Cottonwood Canyon.  It's been decades since we made that drive.  We just have a sense of urgency to immerse ourselves in these gorgeous (yet fleeting) days of early fall weather.  When the temperature is just right, it isn't rainy or too windy (the wind pretty much always blows here in the valley) and the colors are starting to blossom on the mountainsides, that beauty pretty much demands our attention.

We stopped at Harmon's for a gelato after our drive and I spotted this sign behind the counter.  How often that phrase applies to me:  Out Of Order!

And I'm trying to sell my lovely guitar. I had wanted to learn to play the guitar so badly.  The Husband bought me the nicest one he could find for a birthday.  We even (yes, both of us) took lessons through the community adult education program and thoroughly enjoyed it. But my fingers just couldn't take the callouses.  I need my fingertips to continue to be sensitive (for the piano, stitching, and all other fun things in life).  So, there the guitar has sat, for years. And I'm feeling such guilt.  Guilt that so much money was spent for really no reward.  Guilt for not being able to do what I really wanted to do (but I guess that experience pretty much falls under the category of tried it, but it didn't work and that's a learning process that we all go through multiple times in life) and guilt because it was a gift and there's something in my heart that makes it hard to part with gifts that have come with such care and love.  We've got an ad on KSL, but so far no calls.  Surely there's someone out there that needs my guitar?

And I'm finding myself a bit restless.  I've been spending so much time preparing the lessons for Sunday School that since I have a whole month without teaching (and I daren't prepare too far in advance for the next one because it is a given that I'll totally forget everything) I have all that extra time that I'm not preparing.  It's weird.

And surely this is one strange journal post. I'm feeling less than adequate in my ability to present my thoughts in a way that someone would enjoy reading.  And it shows.  I so wish I had the talent of wordcraft that is so obvious in blogs and other communications across the internet. Maybe now that I'm "old" whatever small ability I had has vanished - along with my memory, my thin body, my dark hair and my balance.

But, here comes the best part for me - my acknowledgement of the good things in life.  I'm grateful today for the ability we have to have our home maintained, repaired and kept safe and snug.  I'm grateful for vacations (even though they make me all tied in nervous knots), and for those who will keep an eye on things while we're gone.  I'm grateful for lunches out, for food in the pantry and for more choices than I deserve.  And I'm so grateful for hope, for a Heavenly Father who has a benevolent nature for each and every one of us on this earth.  Kind of difficult to truly understand.