Rainy Tuesday

Pretty Iris

Saturday:  pretty nice.  Caught a movie, ran a couple errands, had birthday dinner for our granddaughter at Olive Garden, enjoyed cake at their home after. I think she likes the stitchery I did for her birthday.

Sunday: Was thrilled to have a replacement organist called.  Had a brief conversation with the Bishop and yes, the plans are to still have 4 organists.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief over that one.  I really think if they'd only gone to two (with me being one of them) I'd have declined.  Yes, me, the one who tries to never tell anyone no.  I think I'd have learned to say the word.

Monday: Filled the fridge with items from the grocery (much needed items). Practiced at the church for Sunday's organ/piano duet. (I always do my best, but what it is about me that I always need instruction from others about every facet of my life?)

Love these tree blossoms.

And through it all I've been living sort of a dual life - the physical one I lead and the one that is going on in my head. I think about people that are struggling and that I pray for.  And I do, pray for them, every day.  I fuss over stuff I should be doing that I can't quite get motivated to do - clean out kitchen drawers, sort through and discard belongings that no longer have a purpose in my life, figure out for The Husband how much we're going to need to live on if he decides to just walk away from his micromanaged position at work.  (He's such a dedicated provider, but seriously? After over 40 years of employment he needs to be bossed around about every single minute/task of his day? No wonder he's discouraged.) I worry about whether or not I'm going to be good enough to qualify for the heavenly reward I hope for.  I think about the weird weather across the world and how it will affect our food supply.  I am annoyed with the fact that my body is no longer as limber and slender as it used to be - get anxiety about my eyesight (the cataract, the floaters, the irritating necessity of glasses).  I wish there was more fun in life, but can't figure out how to have some.  And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Am I the only one carrying on a constant inner dialogue?

And even though I truly do despise the heat, I'm missing a bit of sunshine today.  We've had so much rain this spring, and more expected throughout the rest of the week.  I generally like rain, just don't like so much at a time.  Don't want to start finding webbing between my toes (never cared too much for ducks).

But I'm grateful this world is so beautiful.  I love the flowers.  I'm grateful for plenty of food in our pantry and fridge. For a husband who isn't a quitter.  For a friend or two.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to help with Relief Society at our local care center - I so admire people who watch out for those who are aging and infirm.  (I might be in that situation some day.) And for the luxury of just staying at home this afternoon, for knowing that I don't absolutely have to go out in the rain.