Thinking Again

And when am I not?  It seems like this mind of mine never stops, it can even keep me awake at night.

Was mentioning to The Husband this morning that perhaps this blog has run its course, and then I'll think of something I need to say and here I am again.

It was a nice weekend - The Husband had Friday off, and Saturday was an extremely rare day without deadlines / schedules / commitments.  We ended up going to dinner with some friends and had an absolutely wonderful time.  There aren't a lot of people we truly consider friends - but we love this couple.

I managed to get some walking in on Saturday, Sunday and even this morning.  I so treasure my time on the trail.  This morning was an especially lovely sunrise, the trails mostly empty so it was delightful.

This has been one of those days.  I'm sure I'm the only one that has them - :^) - the ones I just feel all out of kilter, tear up at the slightest impulse, annoy everyone around me.  I'm not doing well with the advent of the holiday season - I'm feeling much more pressure than usual and not liking how I'm feeling about it all.  Thankfully I've already run into 2 extra-kind people (if I count The Husband that would be 3 but I'm on the verge of irritating him) who have buoyed my spirits.

I read this quote the other day.  The man quoted is a soldier (Capt. Derek Herrera) who was injured and is now paralyzed from the waist down.  He said:  "Every day is a choice to live, love, inspire, honor the fallen, make the world a better place and walk in the footsteps of giants." His courageous and unselfish words struck a chord with me.

Was touched by our Primary President's comment.  She said - and with sincere conviction - that she believes the very most important calling (if you had to categorize that way) in our Church is the music in the Primary.  How blessed we are by her stance.  At this very moment I'm grateful to be part of the Primary music.

I had to include this picture of the trail from last week.  I spent the week scuffing my shoes through the crunchy leaves, I love that.  It was good I did it when I could - those crunchy leaves are now a sodden mess with all the snow and rain we had over the weekend.

Today I'm grateful for patience others have for me.  For people who actually listen.  For sympathetic souls.  For kindness that is extended my direction.  If I try, I just might manage to incorporate those qualities in my actions - they surely are needed.

Home Again!

After a teensy bit of anxiousness, The Husband is home!  Due to some complications at work he took a different flight (and airline) home.  Was delayed.  Then delayed again.  And yet again.  He finally touched down in our valley at around two this morning.  Arrived home shortly before three and we were in bed as quick as we could be.  Life feels more live-able again.

After only about 4 hours of sleep we were up and off for our regularly scheduled haircuts.  I'm doing the driving today, don't want to entice any mishaps due to sleep deprivation.

Saw the latest Hunger Games movie.  Wasn't expecting much.  It was better than the reviews led us to believe.

There were four of the deer we watched for quite some time.

I kept myself as busy as I could manage the first three days of his trip.  By yesterday I was ready to stay at home, which I did - the whole entire day.  Saw some great sunrises, and some deer.  Was required to massage some moisturizing lotion into my knees and thighs from the cold dry air that sucked all the moisture from my skin.  Watched a couple things on tv, did some sewing, read some books.  All in all it was a fine enough week, just very lonesome.

Tonight I'm thinking we'll be nodding off to sleep quite early.  Thankfully, we've no one to impress so we can do just what we like.

I'm so grateful tonight.  For the safe return of My Love.  For a week busy enough to keep me from sinking into sadness.  For someone who cares enough to check on me (love the Visiting Teaching program, especially when the sisters really have the vision of what it means).  I'm grateful for an extra day off that was freely granted.  And for holding hands in the movie.

Socks

I love socks.  I have drawers full of them.  I weed them out occasionally, but mostly I just wear them, toss a few hole-y ones, and get more.  I was on a quest today.  It's a long and complicated story, but I've been looking for some sedate blue ones to wear with my jeans.  After some frustrations with the Internet (does anyone but me ever feel overwhelmed at all the choices out there?) decided to do a shop hop looking for socks.

Started at Kmart - I've long been a fan of their Joe Boxer socks.  Not much luck.  Next stop: Walmart. There's a reason I'm not a huge Walmart fan.  Kohl's will surely have something.  Nope.  Not even anything worth running home for my 20% off coupon. By that time I was done, ready for a roast beef tostada at Cafe Rio which I ate while looking at the stack of catalogs I received in the mail today.

Ended up back on the Internet.  Am trying a brand I haven't tried before, am anxious for them to arrive so I can give them a dance through my day.  Today, though was my purple sock day!  These particular socks were a gift from a sweet friend - she picked them up on their Alaskan cruise.  I love their warmth and softness.  And it makes me smile in my head all day long knowing (and no one else does) that I'm wearing these very fun purple socks!

Since The Husband is out of town, I'm the only sleeper in our bed.  Last night was another cold night so I just took all the pillows off and crawled in the covers underneath the bedspread.  Making the bed this morning was fun - a complete snap!  Just smoothed down the spread, re-positioned the pillows and the bed looked like it hadn't even been slept in.  I'd much rather, though, be making it after having The Husband there with me, it's so much better sleeping when he's around.

I had to snap this shot of the creek alongside a portion of the trail I walked this morning.  15 degrees out when I left the house.  Close inspection of the creek will reveal it's total frozen state.  I kept wondering what the muskrats do when it freezes like this.  I loved being out there in the beauty of the sunrise no matter the temperature.  Layers of clothes make me look like the Michelin Man, but I don't mind, my morning walk was well worth it. (Besides, no one on the trail in those temperatures is going for style queen!)

Tonight I'm grateful for gift cards to Amazon, for my fun purple socks, for a browse through Hobby Lobby.  And especially for forgiveness.  I needed it.

Monday Thoughts, Peeves and Pictures

I'll start with the peeve, since I really don't like to be negative, just need to get this off my mind.  Was walking through the mall this morning.  This time of year the kiosks down the center of the mall have tripled in number, with people trying to give/sell stuff to every single passerby.  (That would include me.)  I dislike being pestered this way.  One woman even went so far as to come up close to me and ask me what I bought at ####-#### store.  Seriously?  As an opener it was off-putting, not to mention downright nosy.  Even walking fairly quickly, eyes front I felt attacked.  Now, enough on that subject.

First thing at oh-dark-thirty (and yes, it was definitely still dark out) The Husband left for his monthly visit to the office in CA.  He took (as he ever does) my heart with him.  I know he'll be careful with it.

Later, yes, much later, I headed out for my annual pilgrimage to the county offices to pay the property taxes.  Another dreaded ritual.  I'd rather keep hold of The Husband's hard earned cash.  It was beautiful (though cold) out and I mostly enjoyed the drive.  My favorite part?  Driving that 30+ mile round trip on surface streets (wasn't in the mood for the freeway) and hitting 95% of the lights green. Good way to start a week.

This morning on the trail at 12 degrees I saw this beautiful deer.  It felt really much closer than the picture portrays.  It was just ambling along - I noticed those beautiful antlers - until an out-of-breath jogger came by and startled it into bounding off.   Boing, boing, boing.  I love the urban deer we see.

We enjoyed a brief visit last night from some of our grandchilluns.  This 6 year old is certainly a man (dressed) for all seasons:  long sleeves, shorts, boots - I think he's pretty well got every season covered.  We scarfed their offering of rice-krispie treats - one of the Husband's favorites.

I turned some of my walking money into gift cards.  Went for a pair of jeans - there's a certain brand I quite like (and they come in my favored - thought not quite as readily available - straight legs). Whoa- they're on sale - 40% off.  So I bought two pair!  In a bit I'll be in the closet discarding some of the jeans I don't like quite so much. (Notice how carefully I've hidden the size!)

Today I'm grateful for warmth enough to keep the pipes from freezing, for new clothes that I'll enjoy having earned them myself (thanks to The Husband's employer!) and for green lights.  And I'm also grateful that in just a few days The Husband will be home again and the air in the house won't feel quite so empty.

Guilt

I seem to feel guilt in overabundance. Now, I like abundance as well as the next person, but not the kind that causes anxiety.  Guilt will do that to me.

I have a friend who is fond of saying, "guilt is for sin."  And I try to not be sinful.  But I tend to get caught up in stuff and waste some time.  I procrastinate a bit.  I berate myself for loving being at home when I could be volunteering somewhere, or working and earning money.  When, frankly, my priority is being here with The Husband who is fortunate enough to work at home. I often think how lucky we are, but I suspect there are those who think I'm selfish and unproductive.

I don't think there's a good answer.  Except perhaps to not feel so much guilt - especially when I'm not sinning.

Keeping that guilt - or is it really selfishness? - thing in mind, I've enjoyed the last few days.

My view looking north, love it!

• Went to lunch with a friend. Thoroughly enjoyed our visit.

• Have walked two mornings in a row, bum foot notwithstanding.  Yesterday The Husband walked along with me.  Such heaven!  Because of my foot, I'm walking very slowly and not hurrying, the only way I can manage to get out in the fresh, crisp sunrise.  I love it.

• Went visiting teaching - we have a new sister.  I'm looking forward to getting to know her better.

• Was reminded of my overarching philosophy of contentment.  I dislike being positioned where I question / feel less than / sense disapproval or condescension.  I will continue to do my best and hope that Heavenly Father will find it enough.

• Took some time to do some cross-stitch, my first choice of hand-work.  Remembered again how much I enjoy it.  I currently have a hankering to crochet a baby blanket.  Wonder if I could manage it - (those things I enjoy doing with a needle cost some $ for the supplies) and what would I do with it upon completion?

We need our sanity.

• Stopped in at a store to pick up a couple things I needed, was reminded how little I enjoy shopping, especially when I saw this "Retail" comic.  I need what little sanity is left to me.

• Received a couple gift cards - earned with my walking / step counting which I am going to spend on myself:  a pair of jeans and a new curling iron.

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Yesterday morning I snapped this tree - I love its personality.  The bark was clearly stressed over the years creating the growth between the breaks.  I intend to keep an eye on this tree next spring to see if there is life left.  I can think of parallels there with people and their challenges.

Now, I'm thinking I've procrastinated stuff long enough, I'd better get to that laundry folding, ironing, bill-paying before I've completely run out of time for today.

I'm so grateful for the luxury to choose each day what I do.  For a husband who doesn't seem to mind working so hard to provide for us both, who seems to enjoy having me around during the day.  I'm grateful for cooler weather.  (I know I'm totally in the minority here, but I just wilt in the heat of the summer - much, much prefer sweater weather.)  And I'm grateful to have enough.

Totally Tuesday

I don't know what it is, but there's just something about a Tuesday that feels like Tuesday.  Even when it is a holiday and things seem all jumbled.

• Started this morning with a walk - YAY!!  I have so missed my morning walks.  This morning it was 23 degrees out when I left the house - sporting my jacket, ear covers, gloves, warm socks, my step counter, my phone and my iPod.  I'm easing back into this walking thing - only traversing a couple miles instead of jumping right back into my 5 mpd (mile per day) routine.  My foot requires some care still - this muscle rub and I have become fast friends (in spite of the menthol/camphor smell that surrounds me like a cloud).  But...I'm back walking and that is the very best thing!

My walk yielded a sighting (and hearing) of a prairie falcon hunting for breakfast.  Also a broken drinking fountain over at the park.  (Good citizen that I am, I report the water spouting all over to the city for fixing.) And I had the trail pretty much to myself - only saw 7 other people.  I'm aware I sound like a besotted idiot over my morning walks.  They begin my day in the perfect way and I love it.

• Then we headed over to Corner Bakery - I had a coupon (and a reservation) for a free stack of buttermilk pancakes.  We rarely indulge in pancakes, but I thoroughly enjoyed the ones this morning. Breakfast out is also an indulgence that made the day feel different - more special somehow.

• I've been wearing my new glasses for over a month now and have (dare I say that "h" word? - yep!) hated them almost every minute.  She worked on them for quite a bit to get them comfortable - to no real success.  Since we had to stop in there this morning to pick up The Husband's replacement computer glasses (and yay- they are working great for him!) I had her work on fitting my own glasses again.  Not perfect yet, but so very much better.  Funny how I was mostly only subliminally  aware how much they were annoying me.  Which annoyance is mostly abated. I have been sighing with relief.

• Primary on Sunday was more fun than I've had in a while.  New chorister and I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  It's something she has done before and is very capable.  The Husband is fond of saying "change is certain. Progress is not."  In this instance I think the change will prove to be a good thing.  And I like good things.

• Sunday's Sacrament meeting theme was gratitude - one of my favorite topics.  I loved hearing others speak to the subject.  I wish I could remember the exact quote of one of the speakers - my seat-mate and I turned to each other and remarked how much we liked his phrasing.  After a bit of searching I came up with this quote from James E. Faust.  Makes me wish for / hope for / determine-to-have a grateful heart.  I hope I can always remember to "think to thank" (as he put it.)

A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being.

• And wow!  I must not have talked to enough people the last couple days (although I was engaged in conversation at the grocery by a man who wanted to know if the kind of yogurt I bought was any good, apparently he was having a tough time deciding) - I have nearly written a book.  I haven't said anything of any importance.  But somehow it feels good to put my random thoughts down.

Today I'm grateful for being able to walk on the trail again without too much pain.  For clothes to keep me warm out in the cold.  For the lovely sunrise.  For free pancakes and a friend to share them with.

Some Things I've Liked

There are a few things I've liked about the last couple days.  Some I didn't like so well.

I didn't actually care for:

• Receiving a gash in my finger when cleaning up after the paint was done.

• Having to wear a bandaid.

• Eating too much and resenting myself for my gluttony.

• Burning my hand on a pan - the metal handle of the pan was positioned directly over a gas burner that had been left on.  The handle was hot.

• Spending family money instead of my "walking money" (the money I earn tracking my steps with my step counter) on luxury shoes for me.

I really liked:

• Finishing up door number 3!  The painting is all finished, the mess cleaned up, the storm door back on its hinges.  And the job is passable - the wood is protected and looks much better. Only one door left.

• Dinner and movie out with friends.  The movie wasn't actually quite as good as I expected, but it was still fun.  Managed to not buy popcorn.

• Pumpkin pancakes.

Cute new pumps.

• Spending the majority of today hanging out with my bestest friend.

• Having the luxury of reading a few magazines at the library.

• Getting a good deal.  I've earned enough money from my walking for some new shoes - the pricier ones.  Have to order them online and I dislike returning things so I went to find the right size shoe in the desired style.  Had to drive all the way downtown to City Creek.  Ended up buying the shoes outright. They were marked down $40, there was a storewide sale of an additional 20% so I got them for 46% off.  I rarely find this kind of deal.  This way was a much better use of funds.

• Managing to walk a bit without any pain at all in my foot.

• The beautiful weather.

Today I'm grateful for the ability to walk.  What blessings our bodies are.

Door #3

Ready for paint.

First thing this a.m. (as soon as it warmed up enough) I started in on the third exterior door frame. This one was by far in the worst shape.  The Husband has carved out some time here and there to do the prep work.  Knowing that our paintable days for the season are quickly dwindling I decided this was the week!

While the piano tuner worked on my much-loved piano, I taped and got the first coat of primer on. Waited the requisite 2 hours then applied the second coat of primer.  Tomorrow morning will find me working on the paint, once the sun comes up and the day warms.

The Husband mentioned that it seemed like I was enjoying the painting.  Aside from wishing I was a more accomplished/experienced painter, I think the thing I like is accomplishing something - particularly something that seriously needs doing. I like knowing that things are taken care of, that they'll be useful for longer because of attention. (Everything (or everyone?) needs some attentions at some time.) The actual painting?  Maybe not quite so much.

I did enjoy being out in the fresh morning air (missing my morning walks like I do).  Snapped this picture of our north cottonwood tree.  I can hardly believe we're into November and there are as many leaves still on the trees as there are.  Daytime temperatures are in the 60's and it is absolutely lovely. I find myself looking for things to do to take me outdoors.

Last night, dusting and cleaning off the piano in preparation for today's string tightening, I sat down for a bit and played some primary songs.  I so love the second verse to this sweet little tune:

"When I go to bed at night, I love to kneel and say,
Thank thee, Heav'nly Father, for blessings of the day."

I truly believe that each day contains blessings.  Sometimes they are easier to spot than others, but each and every day is filled with the miracle of life - in all forms.  I also loved this little quote I noticed:

We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” — Cynthia Ozick

Today I'm grateful for the ability to maintain our home, for a job nearly finished, for something to look forward to this evening and for loved ones.

A Few MidWeek Thoughts...

• Went to the grocery yesterday - first time I've been in one since last week.  The picture shows only about 1/3 of the carts parked along the front of the store, all with leftover Halloween goodies.  All that sugar! And I wasn't even tempted.

Leftovers.

• Did a Costco run this afternoon.  (And why is it always a "trip" to the grocery but a "run" to Costco?)  Decided that it is w-a-y more fun to do when I have someone with me.  I love coming home and seeing the freezer and cupboards stocked (don't love seeing the bottom line cost, though).  Also decided that 2:00 p.m. is a pretty good time to go, wasn't very busy this afternoon.

• Have enjoyed being on the elliptical in the mornings, but I very much miss my morning commune with nature on the trail.  I definitely feel like I've gotten a workout when I increase the resistance and the incline on that contraption.  What a luxury to be able to do that inside my very own home.

• So far, one of the best things about this week is the huge improvement of my foot.  I've worn the detested boot every time I've gone anywhere. And lots of the time at home.  I'll be much more conservative when I start walking again in the mornings, won't even attempt it until next week.  I can honestly say I haven't felt any foot pain for 2 whole days! Progress!

• Will be interested to see how things work out with two new primary choristers.

• Learned to not toss a credit card statement in the drawer without opening it.  Thought I didn't owe anything so I didn't bother to look at it.  Discovered (after the passing of another month) that the card had a fraudulent charge on it.  The Credit Union was terrific about resolving it:  only took one phone call and a 15 minute visit to my local branch.  Problem solved, card blocked, new card in hand. Would that all difficulties could be so easily fixed!  (And the only commonality between this fraud and the fraud on the credit card at the other financial institution was our vacation rental manager.  I think perhaps we'll chat with them about their security.)

Today I'm grateful for those dear souls who make room (and time) for me in their lives.  Who return emails and texts (and even on occasion initiate interaction). Who seem genuinely happy to see me. What nourishment it is to my soul to feel like I matter.

A Monday Without A Walk Isn't As Much Fun As A Monday With A Walk

First thing this morning found me on the elliptical as I try valiantly to promote some healing of my foot.  One of the things I treasure about my morning walks is being out in the fresh air, watching the sun rise.  I miss all of that when inside on the elliptical.  (However, I did manage to get in some serious reading time which is also a good thing.  I have, on numerous occasions, combined the reading and the walking outside, with good results.)

There really is snow up on the very tippy-top.

We had a couple gray days - spent puttering around here - Saturday afternoon after all the wood fill/sanding was done and yesterday before and after church.  I am such a homebody!  The result of all that gray weather is snow on our mountaintops.  I was out and about and had a stunning view - but couldn't really find a place to grab a snapshot - too many power lines in the way.  My back yard had to make do.  (A friend once remarked that she didn't understand why anyone would want to live in Draper because the mountains (tall hills, really) are so ugly compared.  True - compared to the canyons radiating from the entire valley they aren't all that lovely, but I have grown fond of them, they have their own kind of beauty.  I try to be grateful for all of God's creations.)

The last two.

I did get a picture of these two stubborn hollyhocks.  Our stairwell is in almost-full winter mode: fallen leaves/dying plants.  Yet these two (white and dark red) blossoms cling to life - fulfilling their designed creation:  providing beauty.  How I enjoy walking past the big window and seeing them.

The Husband received a call from a Draper City employee regarding an ill-marked trail/street intersection.  His input is resulting in ordered (and hopefully erected) signs and fresh paint across the street.  Way to go!  One person can make a difference.

Our sweet R. S. President stopped me yesterday - how delightful it is to (with a bit of hesitation) convey some emotions to someone and realize that they really "get" what you're saying.  She's a sweetheart and I'm grateful we've had enough interactions that I know she really does get it.

Been thinking a lot lately about people.  Ones we know and love and those we bump into as we travel through the day.  It's so easy for me to get grumpy.  And wish things would happen the way I think they should happen.  I may just live an extremely long life - it might take me a very long time to learn tolerance - that kind I expect (and hope to receive) from others.  I must be a big challenge to Heavenly Father. I'm so grateful He won't ever give up on me.