Hard Lessons

Our crimson maples are finally changing color.
Life is full of hard lessons.  I was long an adult before I really understood that not everyone thinks the same.  I always functioned under the assumption that most people were highly principled/ with high morals / goal oriented people.  Not so.  And what a disillusioning discovery.

Because we are all so different there are disappointments.  People lie and cheat.  Don't care about anything but themselves.  Don't reach out to you unless they need something from you.  Are lazy. Judge you.

That is such a small list.  I could go on and on.

But...to what purpose?

The important thing is to realize that everyone makes their own choices.  Parents can do their very best and still the child might choose another path.  Friends can try to support/help another and be rejected. Efforts to help/please are often ignored.

Still, though, Heavenly Father loves us all.  Every single one of us. The ones who live their lives in accordance with His teachings and the ones who skate the edge of decency - or even go beyond.

My task is to do my best.  Not to change or force another. It requires a measure of humility, self-control and patience.  All qualities that fluctuate in me at any given time.

We are each a work in progress.  Let's hope I actually do progress.

Today's small tender mercy:  Rain that waited to fall until I returned from my much-needed morning 5-mile walk.  I realize it really has nothing to do with me.  I still choose to be grateful for the timing.

F.A.L.L.

Before...pine needles literally inches deep.
F - Finally the hot weather is gone.  Loving the cooler temperatures - even the need for sweaters.

A - Abundance of pine needles and leaves.  What were we thinking - planting all those trees.  Oh, yeah, we wanted shade and privacy in our yard.  Thus we see a prime example of unintended consequences.

L - Limbs that are sore from unusual use:  raking aforesaid needles and leaves.

L - Light streaming between the clouds that moments earlier were dripping raindrops.

After  - same area, spent only 5 minutes raking.
I suppose I could have gone with A.U.T.U.M.N.  Whatever.  Either way, it is an enchanting season.  I love the colors, the variations of light, the crispness to the air, the sense of settling in for a spell - the slower rhythm.

We're hoping to get away for a bit of a get-away.  Still looking for that perfect way to do it: want somewhere fun and relaxing with good weather and food.  But - I don't want to spend any money.  And I don't want it to take too long.  (I'm totally enamored of the comforts of my own home.) I'm thinking my chances of finding perfection within those parameters are paltry.

P.S.  Yay for National Oatmeal Day!!

Out On A Limb

Hold On!
Primary Sharing Time yesterday consisted of watching some Mormon Messages on a DVD.  One was the No-Cussing Club created by McKay Hatch 6 years ago when he was weary of listening to all the swearing around him.  (Yes, I've seen some controversial stuff about his club, but not the focus here.)

McKay Hatch is one of the missionaries serving in our area, we frequently see him at church. In Primary,  Elder Hatch was asked to speak about his efforts in forming the club.  Carefully, he avoided any self-congratulations or self promotion.  Instead, he briefly spoke about following the commandments, doing your best.  Mentioned several times that the only person whose opinion about you matters is Heavenly Father.  If we can please Him by our actions then that is what counts.

I was grateful for the wisdom he expressed and for his selfless manner.

As a solid member of the unofficial "Independent Thinker / Non Trend Follower / Doesn't Really Fit In" club, I liked his encouragement to follow our own heart as we do our best to follow what is right according to our Heavenly Father.  He is fortunate to have discovered this at a relatively young age.  (I often feel as out on a limb as this teensy mouse we discovered at the tippy top of a 7 foot hollyhock.)

And today:  it feels like Monday.  The Husband and I are both a tad frustrated - stuff that wasn't as expected or should be, complicated circumstances, much-needed-for-other-things time that slips so swiftly by as we try to sort through stuff and reach a reasonable conclusion.  Sigh...it takes stamina to figure it all out.

This morning's gratitude:  for The Husband's gumption.  May your well be ever brim-full of the energy you need!

Some Positive Things To List About This Sunday....

So love the yellow against the blue.
• The Primary program went pretty well.  Other than the fact that I had (for the first time) tall kids standing between me and the chorister causing me to lean/look sideways for her cues thus losing my place in the music.  I think I was the only flaw.  :^)  (But I'll live.)

Love this view.
• Homemade whole wheat bread.  Took a warm loaf to a neighbor for her birthday.  She texted me a picture not 15 minutes later of the bread nearly gone.  Nice to hear that they liked it.

• The Husband having seconds of the bread with butter and honey.  Makes my mouth water just thinking 'bout it.  Pure comfort.
My feet buried in the leaves.  Too fun.

•Went for a quick walk - between 4 and 5 p.m.  The weather was spectacular!  The temperature in the upper 60's.  The sky breathtaking.  The light/shadows lovely.  The leaves putting on their finest colors. What's not to like about a walk under those circumstances?

• Having someone peer closely at me, break into a big grin and spontaneously spill a sincere compliment about my new glasses.  Unexpectedly delightful.

• Seeing sweet smiles from those I love.

Fun Friday

Walked with the rising sun this morning.  Quiet on the trail.  That's always pretty enjoyable for me.

The Husband had the day off work - comp day for all the extra (insanely intense and long) hours he's worked over the last couple months.  He chose to pare down some of the stuff  in the storage room.  We ended up taking four ginormous boxes of stuff to D. I.  Feels good to have some of the stuff gone. Would feel better to have even more of the stuff gone.  (Insert big smile here!)

Best smile ever!
Speaking of smiles - ran across The Husband smiling for the camera at about 8 or 9 years old.  I'd recognize that smile anywhere!  Especially that fabulous dimple on his right cheek.  Was so enamored I had to take a picture of the picture with my phone/camera so I'd always have it with me.  Too cute!

Ran over to 7-11 for The Husband to fill his drink cup - a rare luxury.  He remarked that it was silly to drive all the way over there (yeah, it's like 2 miles) just for a diet pepsi (yeah, it's a vice that he enjoys).  I decided that there should always be room in life for some silliness.

True

I've been thinking about this word a lot lately.  True.  It's a word I hear a lot.  Something is true, no kidding.  True and faithful.  Good and true.  Straight and true.  One place I looked for a definition - the very first word used to define true was my favorite word:  steadfast.  Also:  honest, loyal, genuine, without deviation.  I like the concept.  I especially like the adjective form - like true friend, true character, true cost.

I decided I want to be true.  It will require earnest effort.  But definitely worth it.

It's been a strange week.  Feels like I think that a lot lately.  I tend to like routine.  Up to a point.  Then I'm ready for something different/ fun.  Too much of that and I'm ready for routine again.  I'm nothing if not contradictory.  Does true contradiction work?? Hmm..

This year's fall has been phenomenal!  Generally our fall is (maybe) two weeks - max.  We did have a rainy, cooler spell.  But we've been back to temperatures in the 60's.  Sunshine.  Amazing colors dress the trees and shrubs.  The grass is still green.  Heavenly Father must surely love us to have created this unbelievable world for us.

They're still picking apples from this lovely tree.
Happy Halloween.
And while I've made no secret of the fact that I pretty much abhor Halloween (and most things associated with it) I ran across a very cute decoration this morning.  One wouldn't have to cut the propane tank, it could just as easily be painted.  I'll bet this cut one is fun at night with a light in it. I like it.

(An aside:  someday maybe I'll learn how to snap a picture with my phone that is in focus. I'm generally taking pictures early in the morning; that early morning light makes it harder to snap-on-the-fly and have the right thing be in focus.  It's a tricky process. Might take me a while to master.)

Today's gratitude:  for haircut day that means a stop at Bake 360 for a kouign amann.  For a gift card to pay for the kouign amann.  For friends that drop off fresh banana bread (sans nuts - YAY!).  For plenty of warm water in my shower.  For hope (in all its forms).

Inside My Head

I must be living too much inside my head right now.  Seems like I'm brimming over with words just begging to be said.

Tiffany logo is even on the actual glasses.
Watched an episode of a TV show that has left me conflicted - as is often the case with TV these days.  I so lament the direction so many of the shows have taken:  the language, the situations, the violence/sex that is so pervasive.  I'll get involved in a story arc then along will come an episode that is so uncomfortable I'm inclined to give up the show.  It makes me sad.

Had a bit of a chuckle with The Husband. I guess at 60+ I'm not really young anymore in spite of how I mentally feel.  It appears that things are reversing:  things that are supposed to be thick are thin (for example: hair) and things that are meant to be thin are thick (such as our waistlines).  I'm hoping my mental capacity doesn't also take a turn for the wrong
direction.

Answered a call first thing this morning - my new glasses were ready!  After a couple trips to fine-tune the fit, I'm ready to try them out for a while.  I had chosen the frames that appealed to me the most. Serendipitously:  they're made by Tiffany and Co.  Yes, that Tiffany and Co.  Even their glasses frames are presented with class and style.  How fun for me!  (Love, love, love that blue!)

Saturday's Wish

Didn't crash the mower.
The Husband mentioned this morning that he'd like to have a Saturday where I'd say at the end:  it was a good day.  Husband: wish fulfilled.  Today was a good day.

Spent the morning working together in the yard doing mowing and leaf removal, weeding, cleaning up. Even managed to find several roses to cut for the house.  52 degrees out, layers on layers of clothes to stay warm (and that were shed layer by layer as we worked up some steam).  The Husband decided it was high time (after 43 years of marriage) that I learn to run the mower.  Quick lesson and he turned me loose.  The yard feels good.  And we'll be appreciative of our efforts in the spring I know.

No sooner had we mowed/raked the leaves than a breeze blew in - the leaves started drifting down from the cottonwoods and the needles from the pines.  It was such a pretty sight.  Even though some people think the cottonwoods are garbage trees, I find there's lots to like about them.
I love our cottonwoods/

Quick lunch at Cafe Rio (free meal!) then off we went for some luxury fun.  The Husband has been saving his Megaplex gift cards for a special occasion.  Our local megaplex has a VIP theater - it's small (seats less than 70).  Menus are presented for ordering of special sandwiches and desserts (yes, for a fee) blankets and mints are complementary.  We chose a couple of reclining seats.  Dessert was brought to our seats halfway through the movie.  Admission is generally $13.50.  Today's feature was "The Quiet Man" that classic with John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara.  Our admission:  $6.25.  Thus, the luxury of the dessert halfway through the film.  Not sure we'll ever spring for such extravagance again, but for today it was just right.

Today's gratitude:  That I'm a seasoned person now that isn't required or even expected to wear what passes for today's trendy fashions.  I have no need to impress anyone else.  I just like to be clean, presentable and comfortable.

Friday's Frustrations

I love the spare form of the tree minus its leaves.
Stupid pedometers that record 12,000+ steps then lose them all before I manage to download them to the computer.

Signing up for "challenges" on the website that require the working pedometer.  The very pedometer I have that is flaky - doesn't seem to reliably work.

A favorite fall color.
Trying to figure out if I should buy the chairs for the living room.  Or would we rather spend the cash on a trip - the one that we expected but didn't get in September or October.  Maybe we should take a couple trips in November.  Or one in November and December.  Yep, going around in circles.  Thus the frustration.

Apples!
Onions.  (They seem to be in everything. I'm allergic.)

That we're still on daylight savings time.

Some gratitude to balance out the frustrations:  for plenty to read, a comfy chair (or several) to sit and read in, eyes to see the printed page and a smidgeon of chocolate for fun.

And for trees.  Today this particular apple tree had a wheelbarrow underneath chock-full of apples.  Should'a taken a picture.  It was pretty.

Mid-Week Musings

Pretty clouds from yesterday's morning walk.
Missed walking (by choice) this morning.  It sort of throws my whole day off-kilter.  Missed the beauty of the dawn, like the one I saw yesterday.

Am I too old for eye-makeup?
I've never been much into expensive (defined as one that isn't sold at the drugstore) cosmetics - it's that aversion to shopping/spending money thing I've always had.  Received a gift card to Ulta so yesterday I went for some retail therapy (which for me isn't therapy but more like torment).  What a luxury to be treated to some fun eye shadows.  I'd never spend that kind of $$ on my own, but gift cards legitimize the extravagance.  Then I started to wonder:  am I getting to old for this?  Should I just accept that I'm old/wrinkled and go au naturel?  Nah, not just yet.  I'm going to enjoy this new shadow.  (Was ridiculed one time for buying Urban Decay - "who would ever buy anything with that kind of a name?" Actually, it's like my favorite brand!)
Doesn't look green to me!

The Husband has been super frustrated lately - missing the "green handled" scissors that were in the kitchen drawer.  I'm privately thinking he's lost it; we've never had green handled scissors.  The two of us had a totally therapeutic giggle when the scissors were discovered on my desk.  I had them all along. (Who would have thought those were green? They look dark turquoise to me!)

Been loving the cooler outdoor temps; I'm much more fond of the oh-so-disguising winter (layered with sweaters and such) clothing.  Does that mean I should acquire some new sweaters?  But am dreading the succession of winter holidays - halloween (even dislike the colors for this one), Thanksgiving and Christmas. Too much stress.

Been thinking lately that it seems like lots of people are stressed.  It seems like tempers are more on display, rules/laws are ignored, selfishness is running rampant.  Wonder at the cause and by extension the solution.  I can't fix the world's problems on my own, and perhaps my solutions wouldn't be acceptable to everyone.  But I can work harder at having a better attitude, and try to spread light and joy to those in my own small sphere of association.  Yeah, I can.  I will.

Today's gratitude:  for having a Best Friend that makes me giggle, provides free refills on hugs, and makes me feel treasured.  That would be my wish for everyone.

Observations From The Last Few Days

The double rainbow is barely there.
Went with some friends to see a movie and then dinner.  How lucky we are to have a couple friends to do stuff with.

Saturday morning breakfasts are w-a-y better when they consist of Kouign Amanns.

Fries & ketchup= happy tastebuds.
Saturday afternoon lunches that consist of Jamba Juice, then a trip across the street for In-N-Out french fries (truly yummy fries!) are the best lunches - especially when gift cards cover the cost.

Husband/granddaughter dressed alike.
Quick visits to some of the grandchilluns can warm our hearts.  The hugs are the very best.

Phone calls to alert me to lovely rainbows are welcome calls.

Sunrise - the best way to start the day.
Meatloaf dinner for two from our grocery's deli = a fun change of pace.  Can't recall the last time we had meatloaf.  (I can overlook the onions - they seem to be this country's must-be-included-in-every-dish-ingredient.)

Announcements of "special" Stake conferences are puzzling.  What/why? (No one around has heard of this before....)

Sunrise walk along the nearly deserted trail is the very best way to start a Monday.

Today's gratitude:  for weekends!  (And for phones with cameras in them.  I use the camera more than I use the phone for anything else!)

Battery...And Stuff

A dead car is a sad car.
Got into a friend's car the other day and she told me she was late because their other car wouldn't start. It was dead.  Completely (not even mostly) dead.  I gave her some sympathy (actually some empathy, too, having experienced the same in the past) and then promptly forgot her troubles.

Headed out for our eye appointments, got in The Husband's lovely Charger and...yup:  totally, completely, absolutely dead.

Lovely yellow.
Called the dealership - we've got an extended warranty that includes roadside (or garageside in this instance) assistance who sent someone out to jump start the car.  But clearly there's an issue:  battery or alternator or both.   I see a visit to our friendly dealer/service in our near future.  That is, if the car actually starts.

All four of our eyes are healthy.  I've been anxiously waiting for the time of our appointments as I was set on some new glasses.  Picked out something completely different.  Am pretty excited for them.  And since we still had cash in our HSA from the previous employer & our eye dr. gives us 50% off a second pair, I went for the whole thing:  new glasses and prescription sunglasses.  Total luxury that I'm sure I don't deserve but will be ever so grateful for!

Spent my morning walk snapping pictures of all the lovely trees - fall is so stunning with its array of colors.  I'll only include one, figure too many tree pictures is a lot like someone's wallet crammed full of baby pictures that no one but the parent/grandparent/other relative really "gets".  One is enjoyable, 50: maybe not quite so much.

Today's gratitude:  for my eyes that can see the beauty around me. (And that the cataracts aren't ready for removal yet.  Avoiding all kinds of surgery!)

Winter Motto

Who says this isn't cute?
Now that the days are getting shorter I'm back into my winter daily motto:  if it is dark outside and after 6 p.m. I want my comfy clothes (jammies) on.

The Husband makes me laugh.  While he didn't have the total pajama look going (it was, after all, after 6 p.m. and dark outside) he got halfway comfortable.  It was the combination of colors/plaids that gave me pause.

Thanks, My Love, for finding me....

Something New Every Day

From the RR track: the back of our house & the trail.
It's good to do something different.  Decided I wanted to share the view from my family room looking east.  Tried to take a picture, but I was just plain too far away.

So, the different thing I did was take a bit of a walk somewhere that I don't remember ever walking (although I might have, this old brain doesn't remember bits as well as it used to).

Behind our house is a paved walking/biking trail.  On the other side of that is an aging unused (but not abandoned) railroad track.  The track at that point is about 6 feet above the trail.  If I'd tried to take a picture from our backyard it would have been too low to see the view from inside our house.

Our view of Corner Canyon and the horse pasture.
I so love to look out the windows (especially in the mornings) and see the two horse pastures and the horses.  I love hearing the horses greet each other with a whinny.  There's something calming about horses grazing in the near distance.

My foot pointing to the big spider I found.
We talk all the time about moving.  I'd like to for many reasons.  I'd like to stay for enough reasons that we do nothing out of sheer inertia.  One thing, though:  I'd hate to leave this particular spot of beauty - there's still enough rural around us that it somewhat balances out the urbanity.

Today's gratitude:  for the part of me that's up for something new and different.  Hopefully it will keep me from aging too quickly.

Small Choices, Often Inadvertently Good Consequences.

The Husband and the grandson went to General Priesthood meeting last night.  Afterwards we all were debriefing.  The subject of cellphones came up.  Grandson's Mom asked him if he took his phone with him.  Yes, he said, but he turned it off.  As I'm mentally applauding his foresight, he added that he wanted to save the battery.

That so struck me.  And it was reinforcement for the knowledge I have that small decisions to do right, made well in advance of any situation, often allow us to make the right decision later with ease.  And often those small advance decisions lead to larger positive results than we expect.  Ones that keep us on the straight and narrow, away from danger.

How grateful I was for the reminder.  And that it was my 13-year-old grandson who helped me to remember the lesson:  Inadvertently doing the right thing, often on the way to doing something else is still doing the right thing.  And that's a good thing.

And I so love the words of President Monson as he closed conference, mentioning that our testimonies are our protection in this world.  How grateful I am for my own testimony of Jesus Christ  - and His atonement for all the challenges we each face in this life.

Friday Morning's Beauty

7 a.m., Draper Temple on the hillside, surrounded by snow-topped roofs.



20 minutes later looking across the valley/sunrise.

Fall color on the hillside behind our house yesterday morning, early.


Same view early this morning, 37 degrees.

AARRGGHHH!!

It's no secret that I love to read.

At any given time I have a stack of books to read from the library. I collect the free ones for my Nook and my Kindle (which was a free one we received).  There is really no worry that I'll run out of stuff (and hopefully all good) stuff to read.  Plus, I always have a bunch of books requested at the library to read when they are available.

Lately I've been scrambling to keep up.  They are coming in faster than I can read.  (Although it is true that I don't read as fast as I used to.)  One was checked out to me yesterday that I thought would take months to arrive:  I was number 1023 in the queue.

So here, I am, at my computer and get an email.  Yep, from the library.  A digital book that I requested months ago is available for checkout.  I only have 48 hours to check it out.
And all of a sudden I'm feeling pressure.  Read. Read. Read.  Arrgghh!

Hours later, and I've decided that it doesn't matter if I read that particular book or not.  Digital hold at the library - cancelled.  Some pressure relieved.

And now I'm off to finish a book so I can start the next one.

Today's gratitude:  for the ability to read, for eyes that let me see the beauty of the printed word (as well as the beauty of the world around me) and for good stories to read.

Personality Quirks/Flaws

Pictures don't do it justice.  I even caught the tiny moon.
Came home from my walk this morning and asked The Husband:  if you're rude to someone and they don't get that you were rude to them, does it count as being rude?

The answer I got (which was exactly the answer I knew I'd get) was an unequivocal yes.  So, sorry, extremely-loud-lady-on-the-trail-with-the-headlight-you-shone-straight-into-my-eyes:  I was rude.  And your being rude first doesn't excuse my rude back even if my rudeness went over your head.  (And for those with questioning minds - my rudeness was a quiet, simple statement of fact that lots of people wouldn't even consider rude. "People are sleeping." It was 6:30 a.m and still dark out for heaven's sake.)

I have long been aware of my faults, failings and shortcomings.  Aware, also,  that I am an abrasive personality. I often bite my tongue so as to not cause difficulties.  I, also, am frequently taken advantage of because I try to live and let live.  Every once in a while, though, I tend to get my back up and stand my ground - I get weary of "just taking it." This morning was one of those times.

I so love being out and watching the day dawn.  The peacefulness of the early morning is a treasure.  I am disheartened when that peacefulness becomes more and more rare because of the intrusion of people who are only concerned for themselves and not how their actions impact others.  Does consideration of others exist any more?

Happy little tree.
So, true confession:  I was rude.  And yes, I am repenting.  And will I repeat said rudeness:  I'll try not to, but it might be difficult.  I should take a lesson from Dr. Seuss who said, "Today I shall behave as if this is the day I will be remembered."

Then I read the newspaper article about people saying they were going to eliminate lots of social media because of the way it makes them feel inadequate - people always parading their perfection.  Come read my blog.  I doubt it will make anyone feel inferior.  My faults are pretty much always on display for the whole world to see.  Like that saying:  all your successes seem to happen in private, but any failure is always in public.  Yep, that feels like me.

The spectacular-ness of the sunrise was fleeting - the colors lasted only a few minutes.  Fortunately I was walking backwards enough on the trail that I caught it.

And the pine tree?  It's only about 4 1/2 feet tall.  But check out the size of those pinecones.  I'd say that was a happy tree.

Today's gratitude:  for repentance.  And for the forgiveness that surely will be mine if I am sincere.

Atypical Tuesday

Enjoying this cottonwood's leaves before they fall.
Since I generally have a haircut appointment first thing in the morning (7:30), those days of my haircut end up being non-walking/exercising/biking days.  Today was a haircut day.  And since I was particularly loathe to give up my head-clearing-stress-relieving-body-moving benefit, I decided spur of the moment to take a walk later in the morning.

And while I sorely missed my daily commune with the sunrise, I did enjoy being out on the trail mid-morning.  The trail is less busy at that time, the only people I passed were aged ladies like me on their bikes and Moms with baby-filled strollers.  The daylight is different at that time.  I so loved the contrast of the shadows and sunlight as the wind set the tree limbs waving.  The added benefit:  I took a book with me and read as I walked which is near impossible when I leave the house before the sun.

The weather is one of those often hoped for, but less often realized perfect fall days with the current temperature of 75 degrees, a mostly cloudless sky, a breeze that stops short of the typical Draper gale-force winds and the light from the sun making things happy.  This is the kind of weather that gives The Husband spring fever in the fall.  I guess that would be fall fever.  The sort that looks for excuses to abandon work and all sense of responsibility and just have some out-of-the ordinary fun.

In the last few days I've received several e-mails from an online reading group site that notify me that someone has liked one of my book reviews.  I am pleasantly astounded that someone finds something I write of value.  It feels like an "attaboy" that I don't really deserve but is so very good for my soul anyway.

And I so like this quote that was shared with me:  "You must do everything you can to make your appearance pleasing, but the minute you walk out the door, forget yourself and start concentrating on others."  --Susan Tanner

And today's gratitude:  that I still have enough hair to cut and style.  It hasn't all deserted me yet. (But it's on its way...)